Tuesday, January 30, 2007

the world of thank you cards

i'm curious... how many of you write and send thank you cards for every freaking thing?! and if you're one of those people who do- WHY do you do it? i'm trying to figure out if this is a regional thing... a how you're raised thing... personal preference, or what?!?!?

i'm not a thank you card writer. and it's not because i'm not thankful, but i find that i would much rather call the person and thank them, than send a card. i don't mean it to be disrespectful, or rude- i'm just not the card type. granted, there are certain things i will write thank you cards for (all wedding things included) but it's rare. and i don't make blake write them. but i do make him call people and thank them. or see them in person and thank them. am i raising a demon?

so i'm even more curious... do you expect thank you cards from people? do you get upset if you don't get one? do you think certain situations warrant thank you cards, and other situations do not? are you raising, or will you raise, your kids to write thank you cards for every damn thing?!?!

26 comments:

norcalgirl28 said...

God, I'm glad you brought this up and I really am curious as to what people are going to say. With three sets of grandparents, nine sets of aunts and uncles and a godfather, Drew would be up to his eyeballs in thank-you notes. I tried to get him to write them for his birthday this year and he did write about half of them before everything Christmas set in and the mission project and there just wasn't time to finish them. I know, then the people who bought him the gifts will say, "then I won't make time to buy the gift". I wouldn't blame them. I have Drew call too and usually we are actually with some of the people, mostly my family, when he actually gets the gifts and he thanks them then. I love to get thank-you notes though, so I guess this makes me an idiot. I write thank-you notes for my own stuff if the person wasn't sitting right there giving me the gift. I really haven't figured this out yet. It's not that we aren't grateful, but my god, there just isn't enough time in the day most of the time. The only thing that I know gets weird is when the New York crowd sends stuff, and we send to them, if you don't get a thank-you, you have no idea if the gift actually got there or not. But, none of my in-laws write thank-yous either, so who knows. I know this is long, but after Drew's birthday and Christmas, it has been on my mind too.

DDM said...

I always send thank you cards. Always. Mostly because it makes people feel good to receive them. I also thank them in person if I see them face to face. I don't get upset if other people don't send thank you's, but call or thank me in person instead. I just like to send them because I think people like to get them.

radioactive girl said...

I almost always send thank you notes. don't hold it against people if they don't though. In fact, I almost always tell people not to bother sending them to us. I am torn for my kids because my husband has such a large family that it just wouldn't be possible. We compromise and try to write them, but if we forget we don't stress over it. We always call no matter what to thank people for things.

Janet a.k.a. "Wonder Mom" said...

I always hated thank you cards...But I hate calling people to thank them even more!

Since my daughter's birth, I have been writing them for gifts that she gets...I could care less if I ever get a thank you card...

My mother-in-law is the type of person to call you to remind you to write a thank you card for gifts She bought...it's so frickin' annoying. Why would you want a thank you card when it was forced? I don't know?

All in all, I could care less...I just do it 'cause it's cute to send one from SF.

Karen Rani said...

Not for birthdays or Christmas, UNLESS it's someone we didn't see (like my husband's aunt sent gifts through someone else) so I'll write or have Dylan write since we never see her.
For showers, weddings, etc...yes.

Karen Rani said...

And no, I don't get upset if I don't get one. It's one more thing for me to throw away.

Mayberry said...

I expect them for anything I send in the mail (or from an online store)--actually, I just want to know if the person got it, so a call or email would be OK too. I think kids should write them for any gift they don't receive in person; for close family like grandparents phone calls are OK. It's a... pretty flexible philosophy, I guess!

Kristin said...

I write thank you notes... I used to write them for everything... if you had us to dinner, you were getting a thank you note! Now however, I will just bring a little hostess gift with a note that already says thanks...

My mother was hard core and I was educated by nuns.

We THANK!

Kristin said...

Thank you for letting me comment.
;-)

Lisa said...

If I give a gift, I give it to express my love. Not to recieve a "thank you" card.

I think calling is a very nice thing too. Even better because I've gotten alot of those very lame, "Dear Lisa, Thanks for the xyz. It will be put to good use. Sincerely, abc".

For what its worth...

Kim said...

I think thank you notes should be sent only when you feel like you need to send one. It should have meaning, and not feel forced. If it is forced, then don't send it. I have never cared about receiving them, nor do I send them. But I do like the ones that I have received that are made personal, and not the Dear so and so, I like the so and so, From so and so.

Anne Glamore said...

I was raised in the south so yeah, we're pretty hard core about it-- we thank g'parents and aunts and uncles for Xmas and b'day.

Other stuff, not so much.

Anonymous said...

My Thank You card protocol:

Yes for my daughter's birthday gifts - I do them for her bday b/c she gets gifts from so many people we don't know personally (children in her class at school)

No for my daughter's Christmas gifts (they are all from family anyway, so as long as we thank them personally, it is no big deal)

Yes for wedding gifts

Yes for baby shower gifts

I don't necessarily think it is rude to not get a thank you note, but I do expect one for weddings, baby showers and children's bday presents as I want to make certain that the person received the gift.

Karen

alison said...

I actually like to send them and I like to receive them. But, my theory is this---whether you thank them in person, through a phone call, or by writing a thank you note, you're covered. It irritates me to no end when the gift is never acknowledged (and I know that's not what you're asking here but I thought I would include it). My SIL is notorious for this...I send gifts to my 3 nieces for their birthdays and Christmas and I have no idea whether they've received them or not. It's just rude, if you ask me.

What else can I help you with? :)

SUEB0B said...

Yes, I send thank you cards. If someone gives me anything. If I have dinner or stay at someone's house. If they do something nice for me.

Because it is polite, that's why.

And yes, I expect them in return. I don't send presents to my nieces and nephews anymore because I figure if they can't take the time to say thanks, they must not appreciate the gifts very much.

Sorry to be a hardliner, but this is just one of those must-dos for me.

Jennifer said...

I like sending thank you cards because I feel like it is almost a lost art, kind of like letter writing. I think its something unexpected that they recieve and are surprised and I think its just an extra nice gesture. I do make my kids write them because I think it teachs extra good manners. Just me :) A phone call is nice as well.

Kevin said...

Thank you cards? Nope. Not here. I'd much rather thank them vocally. Unless it's something huge. Last spring, some friends of ours took us to Hilton Head. They paid for the condo.

THAT got a thank you card. It was an expensive gift, and it was the BEST vacation I've EVER had.

Thank you cards were sent for the wedding gifts we got.

But not for birthday presents, footing the lunch bill, watching the kids, or whatever.

Maybe I'm not the best person to answer, cuz I'm not what you'd call a "people person," but there ya go.

SarahsMama said...

I'm with DDM. Well that and, my Mom always made me. "It's called etiquette Amber." She would always say. It's nice to get them and now that I'm older I send them. I guess it's just because I got into the habit of it.

Sarah said...

ANY act of gratitude is thank you enough, Jennster.

BUT, I can't resist saying here, on your blog, that I am greeting card whore! I love buying them, writing them, giving them, receiving them, throwing them out often, framing them sometimes, etc. I need to go to a greeting card support group!

Then end.

Deb said...

ish...well personally I don't ever send any for anything. I call the person and have a brief THANK YOU and then chat them up so we have some one on one time with eachother. Receiving those cute cards has always made me feel so "Aww how cute and NOW what do I do with THIS thing?? Thank them for their Thank You? Send a You're Welcome card? Isn't it rude to not say You Are Welcome?" I don't teach my kids to send thank yous either. I teach them to SAY IT out loud and mean it. I tell them how valuable it is to "stoke" their relationship with the person who cared enough to send them something and show them that they are worth more than a little paper card, they are worth TIME. Now don't get me wrong, I don't mean to belittle those who DO send cards, it's lovely that they do remember to say thanks...it's just...well...I've always felt it was rather cold and impersonal. Just me and my opinion here...Thanks for asking *BG* Now where can we get a link for a quick private view of your wedding attire 'Ster??? More wedding!!!

Yorksdevil said...

I write them to avoid using the phone.

Stephanie A. said...

I almost always send thank you cards and at one time even considered myself a little nutso about making sure I did it. I choose a thank you note over a phone call because I talk on the phone all day at work and I hate doing it outside of that.

I wasn't raised this way. My parents never wrote them. I'm not so sure it is regional, either. It is just something I've adopted on my own.

Jenn said...

My SIL writes thank you cards for Christmas Presents! CHRISTMAS PRESENTS!!!! I mean really, I was sitting right there when they opened them and they said thank you to me. That's good enough.

lol I'm so bad with that. I actually included a thank you card for Allie's Brithday Party gifts (October) into my Christmas Cards this year! LOL

Kerry said...

I send thank you notes for all gifts received and if we stay over night at someone's house. If we are going to a friend's house for dinner I will always bring something. If I am going to a party I bring a hostess gift. My children write thank you notes for all gifts received. And on the flip side - I don't get offended if I don't receive a note at all. I figure it's a personal decision. Thanks for letting me comment and great blog - I found it by chance this evening.

Wendy said...

I'm back and forth on this one. I would rather call to thank someone, so we rarely sent notes (except for weddings or showers). However, I've noticed that my husband's family (all from the east coast) always send thank you notes, and we do send notes to his uncle, because we never talk to him on the phone. I've always wondered if it's regional too.

Jeff a.k.a. TrojanGuy said...

My mom and sisters are frighteningly prompt with their thank you cards. I am the opposite. I always forget to write them and then by the time I settle down to do it, it's two months later and I feel it'd be ridiculous to send them at that point. Either that or I've forgotten exactly what I got from the person and I feel weird writing "thank you for your gift" with no specifics.