Tuesday, January 23, 2007

hey you, parent who sucks-

if i can offer one word of advice to any parent, it would be to FOLLOW THROUGH ON YOUR PUNISHMENTS!

blake spent the night at a friends house this past weekend. wait, let me rephrase that. blake attempted to spend the night at a friends house this past weekend. about 9:30pm he comes home totally crying, all red faced. i asked him what happened and apparently the boy punched him in the face 4 times, after kicking him in the stomach. i guess they were wrestling and the boy said that blake could do whatever he wanted to him. so blake wacked him in the back of the head a few times. the kid wanted him to stop, so they finally did. then out of nowhere (i guess they had been done wrestling for awhile) the kid kicked blake in the stomach. so blake wacked him in the back of the head again. the kid threw a remote control at blake and blake wacked him again. and that's when the kid socked him in the face- twice in each cheek.

this kid lives in our complex, so i went over to talk to the mom and she was most shocked that her son threw a remote at blake. i said, "that's what shocks you the most? that he threw something at blake? what about the fact that he punched him in the face?!?!?!" apparently that didn't shock her.

i sat there while she told her son that his behavior was unacceptable and that he was grounded and wouldn't be playing for at least a week, and the x-box, playstation were out of his room indefinitely. i was pleased. pleased in the sense that here was a parent who wasn't going to let that kind of behavior go unpunished.

then the next morning as i was leaving, i see the kid- skateboarding with other kids in the complex. nice grounding. way to follow through. when the mom waved at me, i gave her a fucked up dirty look. not because of what her kid did, but because she threatened him with all these things and didn't actually do them. he punched blake in the face, and there is no punishment? fine, i'm not that kids parent- but don't tell him he's grounded and then let him play the next day. parents are so fucking stupid sometimes. she's going to wonder why her perfectly nice kid has turned into an asshole. it just kills me what these parents teach their kids. if you say the kid is grounded, you have got to do it. you have got to follow through. otherwise, your kid will see through your bullshit and act accordingly. and you'll have no one to blame but yourself for their behavior. you have to mean what you say to kids. they need it. whether you feel "mean" for doing it or not- kids.need.discipline.

23 comments:

mollymcmo said...

just out of curiousity did you punish blake in anyway? or was this kid the big instigator? (sp?)

i had to admit i've been guilty of following through on some punishments and i've been trying to correct that.

m

mollymcmo said...

ahhh man then i guess i totally suck! LOL!

m

jennster said...

we didn't punish blake, but thought about it. he would have been grounded had his story changed the following day about what had happened. but it didn't. and the kid who punched him- i asked him his version, and he pretty much said the same thing (blake wacking him in the head and then he got really frustrated and mad). i talked to blake about hitting people. i really try to enforce that blake is to NEVER start a fight physically, but once it gets that way, he can and should defend himself. i don't want him to just sit there and take it. if someone is hurting him, he is to do whatever he needs to to make it stop.
i just think it's really important that if you TELL your kid they're grounded, that you actually do it. otherwise, you're teaching your child that your words mean nothing. you know? that's just my opinion though

Becky said...

amen. i wish my mom would have disciplined my youngest sister. they all need it. good post.

Becky said...

amen. i wish my mom would have disciplined my youngest sister. they all need it. good post.

Mayberry said...

Agree! Which is why we have to be careful what punishments we impose--because we better be ready to follow through.

Anonymous said...

why were they wrestling in the first place? that kind of rough housing never leads to anything good. I definitely would never let my child hang out with another child whose parents allow that type of behavior (or don't keep tabs on the kids while hosting a sleep-over). Where was the mom while all this was going down? If she didn't notice any of the fighting, imagine if Blake stayed overnight when he is a teenager - those boys will be able to get away with anything. Keep Blake safe and away from that loony family.

Stacy

mollymcmo said...

i agree that they shouldn't sit and take it and that they should defend themselves. i tell my children that too. "turn the other cheek", while a good teaching, i don't think works in this reality cause if you do people will be stepping all over you.

m

Anonymous said...

sorry but your blog is so boring.

texas math said...

first of all...I agree with anonymous...your blog IS boring...

secondly..at first I wondered if you punished blake for his part in this incident, but then I thought it trhough and feel its good that you didn't punish blake because then he would see that he got punished and the other kid didn't and that would just send a mixed signal...I hope Kaci never punches anyone four times in the face

alison said...

That isn't the kind of kid you want Blake spending time with, so I would eliminate play time with that one.

It sounds like the mother was saying what she thought you wanted to hear.

Where's Dad?

Grim Reality Girl said...

And I join the chorus of "AMEN SISTER" on the follow through on the discipline. If you are not going to follow through, don't make the threat. My kids have learned I'm true to my word.

Mieke said...

We have had this situation more than once with a friend my daughter plays with. I have talked with the mom more than once who told me "Oh, my son would never act like that, but I will ground him and teach him this isn't ok." Then the son is at it again and mom tells me "oh, I just couldn't follow through". Love parents like this. So frustrating!

Lisa said...

Amen sister. Luckily in our hood we haven't had these types of problems... yet. at least.

SarahsMama said...

I agree Jen!

TeeRish said...

holy crap! are you serious? let me at her...you know I'm tough, 'ster! I can beat her up! =)

really though, that's totally screwed up. poor blake.

Anonymous said...

Thanks 'texas math' I thought I might have been the only one who thought this blog sucked. Maybe they should start giving out awards for the suckiest blog of the month. I bet this one would get voted!

Finelly said...

I agree whole-heartedly! Not that you need validation, but you totally did the right thing by going over there.
That mom has no idea what's in store for her and her child's future if she keeps that up.

RWA said...

She probably lets the kid get away with anything all the time. I would guess she said those things in front of you just to satisfy you.

Don't worry. Kids like that will find their own trouble sooner or later - maybe even with the law.

jennster said...

yeah anon.. SOOO boring you keep coming back and posting comments.

wendy said...

So not boring, Ster. Good post!

Yorksdevil said...

it's not just with kids' punishments, if you don't carry out a threat then all future threats are meaningless

Meg said...

Wow. That kind of shit pisses me off, too. It's parents like that who have the worst kids, too. And then they try to say that "their kids just wouldn't mind them". Whatever.