Sunday, November 12, 2006

the seating chart

okay, listen up. you already know i'm a little crazy so none of this should surprise you. i asked our reception place to send me a sample seating chart for our wedding so i would know what i have to work with, what the table set up is like, etc. i don't even know who is, or who is not coming to the wedding yet (and we don't even have invitations)- but in my psycho mind, none of that matters.

working on this chart is making me sick to my stomach. this is freaking ridiculous and NOT fun at all. how come no one ever told me?!?! YOU GUYS! i expect some forwarning about what is not going to be easy.. what is going to suck.. what is going to make me cry, etc and you have not been helping!!!

so in this chart- there are 2 tables that are behind a fucking fireplace. as in, i don't think they'll be able to see anything or anyone other than eachother's table. who the hell am i supposed to put behind a fireplace so they can't see anything?!?!! HELLO! and then there is this other table that is so far in exile in the corner of the room- i'm almost embarassed to put anyone there. how the hell did you choose who to sit where?! it sucks. this sucks. maybe i should put a note on the exiled tables telling them that even though they are far enough away to be in a completely different zip code, i still love them? should i set up a webcam so they don't miss anything? i mean seriously people! this seating stuff is making me crazy...... er.

33 comments:

alison said...

Okay, so your dad is at one of the exiled tables. Easy enough. Is there going to be a table for the wedding party? If not, you can put me and Chris at the exiled table, along with my mom and Alan if they're invited. We don't care, especially if it makes the seating chart easier. :) Besides, most people sit at the table only while they are eating, and then they're off to hunt you down so they can talk your ear off about when you're having children, etc. Stop stressing, Hooch!

private party has cash now for your trustdeeds said...

Greeting to all ##NAME## I was looking around

mk said...

Is there anyway waround putting people there? m aybe your #'s will be on the lower side and you won;t have too? or could you put somehting else back there like the bar or something and then move table sinto the main room? Irt is hard to tell you when I don;t know the layout. I am sorry- that is a hard one. Maybe put your least fav people there? *wink* Good luck and keep us posted. i thought it was a very tough one too and we couldn;t make everyone happy no matter what we did!

Elizabeth said...

I agree with mk, if there will be enough seats without using the ones behind the fireplace, I would try to avoid them. Otherwise, I would put someone there that you know won't spend a lot of time sitting down anyway. Tell whomever it is ahead of time, apologize profusely and offer to make room for them at another table during the toast and first dance, etc.

Everyone worries so much about the seating arrangements, but it's not what people will remember about your wedding. Also, are you going to put a disposable camera on each of the tables? That will encourage the fireplace table and the out in exile table to get up and move around as they take photos. Just an idea. Don't stress, sweetie! You know your wedding is going to ROCK.

Random Musings Of My Life said...

RELAX and be calm.
The way you set up the tables or "proper table etiquette" if you want to follow it (my mom was a wedding coordinator for 25 years) You put the people who know you the best and have had the most time in your life from the front to the back, the people that go in the other zip code are aquantences. People you work with, neighbors you not SUPER close with, and most people do not expect to be at the front unless they are your best friends.
If you have any other etiquette questions email me.. serious.. relax

Random Musings Of My Life said...

Oh I have a lot of cool wedding things to do too.
Oh and if you ask anyone who was at my wedding where they were seated they would all laugh and say they could not remember.. Serious think of all the weddings you've been to. Do you remember??

Dana said...

I had 600 people at my Polish style wedding. Seating charts don't exist here.

I wish I could help! I can imagine how frustrating it must be!

crazymumma said...

Random Musings said it all. Order of importance, family, respect. all that stuff. Just breathe into it, let go the guilt and look forward to a wonderful day.

Melissa said...

The last second people, you know the ones who send in their RSVP two weeks late, you put them back there. Really, do it. It will take your mind off of it and make them be more present for the next person wo gets married. really Ster, don't worry, it's all about the dancing at the reception. Most people only put their crap at the table. No one will get pissed, cause they won't really notice. Try to remember that your wedding is supposed to be about you and Point, so you have to not have a stroke and make it there ok? OK? ;)

Anonymous said...

Way back in the day.... we put guest's names on note cards to make sorting by table easier. You didn't have to erase so many times.... the tables in Egypt went to work friends or outer circle -- apologies ahead of time with big thanks for understanding. People get it -- you do what you can do with what you have. People understand. Stop worrying. It will be okay. Breath.

Lisa said...

Here's the thing... Just let people sit whereever... Then the latecomers get the crappy seats... And they can't bitch because -- they were late, what do they expect?

Just a suggestion. I didn't have a fancy wedding. Mine was pretty casual.

Sarah's Mama said...

Jen? This part sucks.

There's my warning..whos next?

No matter how you make it, you will move it a million times.

jennster said...

ali- i cannot and won't do that to my dad. even with everything he did, i can't put him in exile. it would upset me.

Angry Dad said...

The way I see it you have two choices.
1) You can put all the "quiet types" behind the fireplace (do you actually know any quiet types?!) That way they'll just stay their and keep quiet.
2) You put all the booze hound kegger crowd on those tables. They'll be so busy pissin' on, they won't be too fussed. Hell, they'll even get you to come and relive it on their table later!

I'd go option 2).

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

Hi Ster, If you feel badly selecting table assignments, perhaps you could JUST assign seats to the head table then leave it up to everyone else to choose their own seats with people they want to sit with. I've seen this pulled off beautifully. Then people can only blame themselves for not sitting with whom they want. Also, if so and so has a conflict with so and so and doesn't want to sit near them, that's their problem to solve, not yours. etc..

As for behind the fireplace tables, perhaps you caught this problem early enough to have the facility arrange the tables so you don't need the ones back there......... Or sometimes, for elderly guests or people who brought little kids, having a table that's far from the noise/music chaos to retreat to can be a blessing. They can still get up to dance when they want and mingle etc.. Or maybe they can instead of tables put some chairs/couches behind the fireplace for people who want to escape the action for a little while.

I feel your pain. Hang in there. Don't let this get you down about your big day.

Lisa

ali said...

seating is so stressful...because seriously, no matter what you do...you are going to insult someone.

Jenn said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA Try haveing two huge italian families that have various members in each of them who don't talk to certain people of their families and who refuse to sit anywhere NEAR the people who would be normally logical for them to sit with. Then come talk to me! LOL

Stephanie A. said...

I would point out to the reception facility that unless you will be paying less for the food served to those tables behind a fireplace, then other options need to be presented. You'd be surprised at how flexible they can be. Our place made a lot of changes for us and they did so with a smile.

Personally, I am a fan of assigned seating at weddings. If your close buds get there late, you know they will be where the action is instead of, well, behind the fireplace. Plus, if one couple doesn't know anyone else, it is a nice way to put them with someone you know to be friendly or someone with whom they have something in common. But I'm a major control freak like that and had worried about everyone having fun at the BIGGEST PARTY OF 2003!

Since you asked for a warning- other things that suck- the day before the wedding. SO MUCH TO DO and people tend to be a little less cooperative than you'd like (at least in my case). Oh, and people may just boycott your wedding entirely. I had several family members refuse to come to my wedding for various reasons (no smoking inside, no children, etc.). Be prepared because it sucks that people can't understand that it is your day and set aside their need to be the main event. Oh, and at least 15 people RSVPed that they were coming and then didn't. And then there were the people who said they'd bring dates and didn't. So, basically we paid for over 20 meals (because you have to give the final headcount in advance) that weren't eaten. Do you need more? I got more. I freaking hated planning our wedding. LOL. That's all the more reason for you and boyfriend to have a total blast the day of- no more planning!

Anonymous said...

Jenn, really, I am with a lot of other people. We didn't assign seats, save for the wedding party at the main table. Everything worked out fine. Frank's co-workers sat with each other, my co-workers sat with each other, Frank's family with each, my family with each other, everything worked out fine. I agree too, people eat and mingle. I don't think they were in their seats more than thirty minutes...TOPS!! before everyone was mingling.

Anonymous said...

Don't you know? They have the tables behind the fireplace for your in-laws!!!!

Just kidding. That does sound kind of weird.

Amy said...

I hate dealing with things like this where you feel like you have to do everything "just right" so no one gets their feelings hurt or gets pissed at you. I hope it all works out smoothly!!

BTW, I LOVE your fall template, GORGEOUS!!!!!

penguininthesun said...

webcam? haha, Jennster... you're wonderful :)

DDM said...

I'm sorry!!! I didn't have a formal dinner. Buffet baby, and you sat wherever your ass found a seat!

Anonymous said...

Greeting to you ##NAME##- what the fuck is that all about?

Anyway- the fireplace table- market it as "cozy" and private. Do you have any disgustingly affectionate couples coming? Put them there.

The far away table is for the uglies. JUST KIDDING! Put someone who will understand or someone who won't be spending much time at the table- someone who loves dancing and mingling. Or ask if the tables can be moved or configured in a way that you choose.

carrie said...

That does not sound fun. We only sat relatives and very close friends, as for the rest of them, they had to duke it out for the good seats on their own!!!

Carrie

Dustin said...

Put me there please
i'd prefer not to watch anyway.

alison said...

You have to know I was kidding, you freak. But honestly, Dad would be just fine in exile if I was back there with him. We could reminisce (sp?) about Duke and all that good stuff. :)

mothergoosemouse said...

We did not have assigned seating. Personally, I hate it, and I rarely end up sitting where the bride thought I should sit. If everyone's got a place to park it, the kitchen staff can figure out who got the chicken and who got the fish.

And yes - they need to figure out a better option than putting two tables behind a fireplace. Make 'em earn those big bucks you're shelling out!

Girl con Queso said...

My advice...ditch the seating chart. Let everyone fall in place naturally and move around as they feel like it. It's easier for everyone. Just let it happen.

MrsFortune said...

This was the single most painful aspect of my wedding planning. Everything else paled in comparison. But, alas, I got through it, and so will you, and nobody will remember or give a rat's ass where they sat because people get up the minute dinner is over anyway and sit wherever the hell they want to. So don't you worry and I'll volunteer to sit at one of those obstructed view tables.

I am invited, right? :)

Becky said...

dont put us behind the fireplace. thanks

russ said...

seating charts are not always necessary. half of the weddings attend it's every person for themselves when it comes to seating. there is always someone who will sit behind the fireplace, like the peeps who are always drawn to the back of the bus or the back of the classroom

Virginia Belle said...

um...why not just let people pick out where they sit? reserve one table for the wedding party and/or the parents of the bride and groom.

for everyone else, let them figure it out. first come first served.

most of the weddings i've been to are like this, and everyone is fine with it.

file this under "not your problem".

i also like melissa's idea, if you are dead set on having place cards. late RSVP? sorry, all that's left is the crappy table. fair 'nuff.