Tuesday, November 28, 2006

life lessons

do you ever look at your life, and the way you live it, and have that instant recognition about what your lessons are? as in, what you're here to learn? .. or teach people?

i mean, i know that i definitely need to learn patience. but i'm not giving in lightly. nothing comes easy for me. i've never been the type to want something and then get it with a snap of the fingers. you know the type.... they always seem "lucky." they get all that they want without really having to work for it. even though it seems like everything in my life is here to teach me patience in one form or another, i fear that i'm going to have to relearn it all over again in the next life. i am just an impatient person. and i know i have many other lessons to learn and that i'll most likely, never stop learning throughout this whole life.

my point? oh yeah.. my point. it isn't really even about me. it's more about how we view and see other people- and their actions. i mean, i was thinking about a particular friend this morning and i was thinking that one of her predominent lessons she has to learn in this life, is letting go. she has to learn how to let go of her control issues. in almost every aspect of her life.

and that stemmed to my thinking that it seems a hell of a lot easier to look at others and see their "flaws" then it is to look within and see our own. i mean, can we see other people's life lessons far clearer than we can see ours? because in my example above, that particular friend does not see her behavior as a flaw. she sees it as empowering. and she sees it as herself doing everyone around her a favor. so what if i'm wrong in assuming that that particular thing is a lesson for her? what if it all comes back to perception and how we each see things in others and ourselves based on how we view things?

i really don't know where i'm going with this. i guess i want to know if any of you can see clearly lessons you think you have to learn in this life? or are you perfect? HA!

25 comments:

Stephanie A. said...

Perfection is an illusion. I'm a total mess about 90% of the time and I'm cool with that.

However, as for lessons, yes, my lessons are very clear to me. Temper and jumping to conclusions. I tend to let things bother me way more than I should (hence yesterday's post).

Personally, I think we're all a work in progress and if anyone considers themselves "done," well, that is a little sad to me.

Anonymous said...

so far from perfect it isn't funny!!!! I need to not be so protective of Drew and let him fight his battles himself sometimes and not go in and fight them for him all the time...what is the name for that now a days? "helicopter parent" I also need to let go of all the bitterness I feel towards Frank's mom. So, what am I here to learn? I guess that there are times Drew doesn't need me "waahhhh!!!!" and there are times I have to realize you can't change people and they will always be the evil witches that they are. how's that?

Allie said...

sometimes people like to think there is nothing wrong and are afraid to see their flaws because they know that this is something that they should change. and most people are afraid of change.

Jenn said...

I'm perfect......

Loren said...

Since I read a book from Sylvia Brown recently, I've had that question in my head... Like you, I know my many flaws and accept them, but I'm not quite sure what I'm here to learn about, and yes, it is so much easier seeing other people's flaws that will be life lessons for them... It's always easier examining something when you're outside the picture.

Tuesday Girl said...

I see my flaws, I know they are there. as for fixing them well I guess if you did that you would be perfect and nobody is.

I guess correcting them or learning from them is life, at least this life you are given.

Melissa said...

I see the lessons afterwards. I rarely notice them during, I just feel impatient about what is going on. Perfect, well what is that really? My theory is if you keep learning and growing throughout your life, you will have a better life then if you just sit in your bubble and think you are the most perfect person in the world and never even consider changing.

wendy boucher said...

I am not going to write a humorous comment. You see, I never take anything very seriously. There's a lesson for me right there.

Anonymous said...

I am still in the midst of learning not to worry about the things I can't control.

I still do it to some extent - but not as much as I used to.

alison said...

Oh my, you're philosophical today. Am I your control freak friend?? I feel like I am a bit of a control freak and it doesn't help me at all. I'm to the point where I won't even let Chris help clean the house because he won't do it "right." And, I'm a little OCD too because when I get something in my head, it has to be taken care of NOW or I'm not content with the world. Oy, can you say anxiety?

mothergoosemouse said...

Were you thinking of me this morning? Because I swear that I'm not nearly the control freak that I once was.

Obviously the lesson I need to learn concerns narcissism.

Elizabeth said...

So, what are you saying? That I'm a control freak? Geez, just because I want everything done the way I want it, is that so wrong?

(I'm joking) My life lesson is I need to learn to take compliments. Really.

Kim said...

We're supposed to learn some kind of lesson? Well, that explains a lot!

But really, my life lesson is to learn to like myself more...to be happy with myself the way I am and stop worrying about what other people think about me. So what do you think about that? ;)

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

I fine myself always urging people to not be hard on themselves, YET I am a snarky bitch to myself at all times. So I definitely need to learn my own lessons that I try to teach....

What a cool, thoughtful post.

Lisa

Her Bad Mother said...

Whoa. I've been thinking about this, like, daily.

My lessons come in and out of focus: stop worrying. Chill out. Let go of *trying* to be perfect. Chill out chill out chill out.

dana said...

I have the tendency to always see through others' problems, but never my own. It's like selective blindness to conflicts...or something...

:)

Anonymous said...

hmmmm...I have so many lessons to still learn--I haven't always learned from ones in the past. lol! I mostly need to continue working on trying to be a patient mother and wife. Balance is not always easy for me!

Suebob said...

The way I see what I need to learn is when someone really peeves me. Usually the same thing that makes me mad about them is present in me too, though (hopefully) usually to a lesser degree.

carrie said...

Perfect? Right. I think we trudge on through tough or challenging times to the best of our abilities, trying to make sound choices and sometimes when all is said and done, we can look back and see what we learned.

I think everyone had "flaws" that they are trying to improve, but those really important, life-changing lessons are usually in hindsight.

Of course looking from the outside in, provides greater clarity and it's far easier to identify what problems and solutions are when you aren't all tangled up in them. So, you try to be a good friend and help out when you can without judgement.

Carrie

Meg said...

I know what you mean. I am so quick to find flaws in other people, but the main flaws I find in myself are all physical. I need to spend more time focusing on myself as a person to see what needs to be done.

I know that I lack patience, as well. I also know that I'm unorganized and emotional, but I just don't know how to go about changing them.

Good subject. This really has me thinking now!

Sarah's Mama said...

I know my flaws...clear as day. I'm sure there might be some I have missed but, I would hope that people have seen me change and evolve to become better.

Thanks for making me think. lol

Anonymous said...

I loved this post! Mainly because it made to do a little reflecting on myself. I've never really sat back and thought 'what are my flaws?' But that led me to another question: what defines a 'flaw' exactly? I mean, by official definition a flaw is a defect or weakness in a person's character, but what classifies it as a weakness? Like your friend...she viewed it as empowering you viewed it as a flaw...so whos right? is wanting control a weakness? wow I'm confusing myself! Thats all for now!!!! Love your blog by the way!

Anonymous said...

I loved this post! Mainly because it made to do a little reflecting on myself. I've never really sat back and thought 'what are my flaws?' But that led me to another question: what defines a 'flaw' exactly? I mean, by official definition a flaw is a defect or weakness in a person's character, but what classifies it as a weakness? Like your friend...she viewed it as empowering you viewed it as a flaw...so whos right? is wanting control a weakness? wow I'm confusing myself! Thats all for now!!!! Love your blog by the way!

russ said...

I think we learn lessons with each breath we take, and have taken, in lives past. My pappy died when I was 8. It taught me a lesson that life is precious and parents are more precious. It also desensitized me to death in a way, because I have been through it, more earlier than people who loose parents when they are older. I do not know where I am going with this but that is all I have to say about that.

Lisa said...

Yes, I know exactly what you mean there!