**the post below is from the brilliantly funny, charming, and first time dad, tony. when he isn't hogging up all my blog space, he can be found on his blog, from the files of nothing can ever be easy. although he sucks at actually posting regularly. which is why he's here. and wherever else you might see him. *coughs*becky's*coughs*
Allie and I have been searching for the past few weeks for someone we are both comfortable with to watch Kaci when Allie goes back to work (which is very soon actually.) We have searched classifieds and online listings and we have even placed ads on Craigslist, to which we have gotten many replies…so with that in mind, here’s a little advice for any potential childcare providers.
When replying to either an online listing or a direct email….SPELL CHECK…geez its not that hard…because there’s no freakin way in hell I’m leaving Kaci with someone who “liv in nice hose” I mean seriously…Kaci probably could type better than this person…whoever it was. Don’t get me wrong, she could be a great person…but horrible spelling gets you nowhere in my book.
I’m Christian, Allie is Catholic and we want our daughter to grow up knowing God, but please do not mention God, the bible, or Christianity in every single sentence you type. I’ll admit that this probably means there’s something wrong with me when it completely freaks me out at how much this person mentioned her religion, the bible and such in her reply….but it did….so please tone down the bible-thumping. Example “I will do my best as a Christian, to help care for your daughter, and help her learn the teachings of the bible so that she can know God better.” Why does this creep me out you might ask? Ever hear of David Koresh or Jim Jones? (Or that one chick from either Trading Spouses or Wife Swap…you know..the “Christian Warrior!!”
When we get as far as meeting in person…how about covering up that tattoo you have on your thigh? You know…the one that spelled out “Trashy” (it didn’t actually spell out trashy, but it was very tasteless). I have no problem with tattoos…Allie has 2 and I have always wanted one….but this person’s tattoo was a huge red flag to me…not that she has one…but that she has one and didn’t bother covering it up…I mean if it were a butterfly or something well-drawn or meaningful…I might understand…but this tattoo probably meant she was the property of some local biker gang.
And finally...never EVER accuse me of accusing you of being a scam. I can’t help it if I bone headedly forwarded your email back to you instead of to Allie with the words “I don’t know about this one…read it very carefully.” Just because I sounded skeptical, doesn’t mean I was skeptical…I was just letting Allie know that I wasn’t sure if this person was the right fit for us…so instead what do I get in return…”Are you accusing me of being a scam?” Well if you’re the type of person that needlessly rushes to ridiculous (not “rediculus”) conclusions….then you’re nowhere near suitable to care for my child.
Thus, the search continues…wish me luck.