Thursday, October 05, 2006

why you should never run into me at the grocery store

or the grosh, as i like to call it.

i am obsessed with this cake. this one right here:

doesn't it look good?

well IT IS. best cake ever. it's chocolate with white buttercream and i pretty much would eat it daily if it wouldn't make me fat.

so i'm at the store and i'm giving the cake fuck me eyes when a lady walks up and looks at the display case. i proceed to inform her that the cake i'm trying to sleep with not only is the best cake in the free world, but it will make you live longer, and cut your gas prices in half! she starts laughing. apparently she's my new best friend because i also inform her that the cake is so damn good, that i randomly make up excuses to buy it. oh my gosh, it's saturday- cake day! i'm breathing today- we should celebrate with cake! you peed on the potty? (mom, i'm 8) so what? CAAAAKE! it's possible that my new best friend ran away from me screaming, but i can't really be certain.

i'd like to think i'm entertaining and funny in real life, but what if this is just further proof that i'm a freaking nutcase?!

36 comments:

Isabel said...

Oh my gosh, I need the cake.

spidey said...

LMAO--You are such a dork! I want that cake right now, though!!!

spidey said...

LMAO--You are such a dork! I want that cake right now, though!!!

Chase said...

I got the biggest, most fattening, most make-out-worthy cheesecake for my birthday a couple weeks ago. Last night I ate the last piece. I nearly wept.

I feel ya, Ster...I feel ya.

Eileen said...

"Mom, I'm 8," made me laugh out loud at work and I couldn't help it.

norcalgirl28 said...

You are entertaining, wonderful and funny in real life. I probably would have still been laughing if you did that to me in the store. You're the best!! Thank you for the smile.

Jenni said...

You've actually brought me to tears... my co-workers are wondering what the hell is going on over at my desk!

This is an awesome post!

ali said...

must. have. cake.

Jenn said...

giving the cake fuck me eyes?!?!?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Your freaking hysterical. If I met you in the grosh I'd be peeing my pants laughing so hard!

mothergoosemouse said...

I love you first and foremost for using the term "grocery store". I think we might be the only two people who still do.

And that business about fuck me eyes at the cake and trying to sleep with it? That just cemented our love.

From the hot sexy bitch currently pissing off every last self-identified feminist,

mothergoosemouse

Becky said...

YAY this was my bday cake when i went there! i loved LOVED this cake. i can't wait to go back and eat some more!

ablondeblogger said...

ROFL!!!!! You should film the cake-fucking and have them use it in the next "American Pie" movie!

Anonymous said...

Not a fan of choco cake, but it is definitely pretty.
Do they just know to have one in the case at all times for you?

Christina_the_wench said...

Do they make it sugar-free?

*laughs hysterically*

Melissa said...

"oh you peed in the potty...cake." I love that. Yummy cake...I want some. That looks soooo good.

Mrs. Chicky said...

Wow, it's like the dawn of the dead over here. Except instead of dead people it's deadly pastries.

CAKE! Must have CAKE! Gaaaahhhh, must have CAKE!

Stephanie A. said...

You're not a nutcase. You're evil. Period. Why would you put a picture of yummy-ass cake on your blog when you know that I read your blog daily? Why, Jennster, why?

Because you're evil. Maybe even an evil whore.

radioactive girl said...

We would totally be friends in real life. Either that or we would scare each other with how insane we are, but I'm betting on friends. You are hysterical!

Piece of Work said...

Now that just takes the cake, Ster.

*ducking head from flying tomatos*

alison said...

Freak.

hautemama said...

OMG that cake does look HOT. Altho if you ever come to Vancouverwood, you must try a place called "Cupcakes" and have a slice of cake with pink icing!

Suebob said...

I am so glad you don't shop at my store. Because if you told me that, I would buy the cake. And eat the cake. And be even more colossally huuuuuuge than I am right now.

jen said...

you are hilarious. here's hoping I run into someone as cool as you the next time i'm grocery shopping, because that would make it totally fun!

Kimmie said...

OMG That looks SOOOO good, damn you for posting that!

Jennster newbie here BTW *waves*

Random Musings Of My Life said...

HUMMMM Cake

tAnYeTTa said...

yes! you're a nut case and that's why we love you.

by the way, i gained 5 pounds just licking the computer screen. thanks.

Yorksdevil said...

Maybe you are just crazy, but reading this was both funny and entertaining.

Meg said...

Oh I'm drooling now. Must...eat...cake...

mk said...

Bring it on! We need more fun at the grocery store! I love that you make up reasons to eat the cake. Sounds like my friend and I that eat skinny fries at Fat Burger because they are called skinny "and they make us skinny", so we have to eat them, right?

Erin said...

I NEED to know where to get this cake! I have a severe buttercream addiction to feed here!

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

maybe she just felt defeated that there's no way she could get the cake now, it was so yours and she was running away to cry? (that is a seriously good looking cake) because otherwise, can't think of an explanation. you are hilarious, and I wish i were gutsy enough to be that funny in real life. I kind of have a stealth personality. know what i mean? comes out in writing and for those who know me well more than at a first meeting like that in person. I say good for you.

Lisa

CP said...

What's all that gism looking goo on the top though?

I'm hoping it's tapioca and not the bakery ladies "special sauce".

CP.

denise said...

I would so wander up to you, take one look at the wanton goddess of that cake with you and begin to drool and lick the glass on the display case. I often stroll around the case for longer than it takes to do the rest of my shopping just trying to decide which wonder of creation to indulge upon. and you are hilarious.

Karianna said...

MMm. That is some fine lookin' cake!

mollymcmommy said...

jenn, hon i'm sorry while that cake looks yum, it also is a freak of cakes. i mean the shape? tall, long and high?

yep, my kinda cake ;)

m

Virginia Belle said...

hey, cake makes me crazy. so if eating cake makes me crazy, then i'm just fine with that.

it looks extremely yum-yummers to the MAX by the way. i want to lick it, and then do a face plant in it.

you crack me up w/this story. i guess we don't have to worry until you start putting the cake down your pants, exclaiming that its "loving is so gooooooood" as you mush it all around. or making out with the glass case which holds all the cakes. those situations might make me worry about you.