Wednesday, October 11, 2006

the mr. & the mrs.

do your kids call your friends mr/mrs lastname? cause blake doesn't. i've never introduced him to any of my personal friends as miss, mrs, mister anything. i would laugh my ass off if he called a girlfriend of mine mrs. so and so. and i think my friends would be like, "AH, don't call me that!!!"

i know that i don't want any of blake's friends calling me mrs. ster. i like being called jenn. or blake's mom. or pretty pierced eyebrow lady. (okay the last one is a little creepy). but i'm bringing this up because someone asked me the other day if blake called people mr. & mrs. or not. and we got into a discussion about how when we were kids, we called all of our parents friends mr & mrs. and that stemmed into respect. so i was wondering if i was the only one raising a disrespectful little heathen?

my reasons for not having him do this, partly could be based on how young i was when i had blake. and the fact that it never even occurred to me to have him call my personal friends, mrs. lastname. i don't call them that, why should he? i guess he calls people whatever name i introduce them as. it's true that i will introduce him to my parents friends as mr or mrs lastname, because once again, that's what i call them.

how do you introduce your friends to your kids? and do you think it's disrespectful if they call people by their first names? talk to me people!

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

With my own friends, I introduce them as their first names. I HATE it when other kids call me Miss Last name or Miss Amy. Occasionally, we'll introduce friends as "aunt" first name or "uncle" first name. For people of my parents and grandparents' generation, they use Mr. or Mrs.--but I also ask those people first, what they'd prefer.
My kids are heathens too!

Kristin said...

Old family friends they call by their first name, new people we go with Mr./Mrs. unless they say "Oh, call me Susie..."

Softball Slut said...

All my friends kids call me TiTi Fish. I am like an Aunt to them. I dont have any children of my own yet, but it depends on who they are talking too. I am like family with most of my friends, for which I am very lucky. Can you reask that question in about 5 years and I will let you know?

kim said...

yep ive got heathens too

i suppose its the way we introduce them to people? familiar people on a first name basis ... and elderly people we dont interact with much but run in to at the store or post office ... mr or mrs.
i wont tell you what they used to call old mean lady betty down the street lol

jen said...

It's wierd. We came across this last year from our neighbors kids. They insisted they call us Mr. Ken and Mrs. Jen. I FRIGGIN HATED IT! Just call me Jen...PUH-LEEZ!
Friends are mostly Aunt and Uncle anymore...and if they are new people...I will usually ask what they prefer...

Waya said...

I don't like to be called "Mrs." b/c it just makes me feel OLD. And my kids can't pronounce some of my friends' last names, so it's Ms. Ann or Ms. Betty. But most of the time they call them by their first name, and I have no problem with any kids calling me by my first name either.

Loren said...

I'm like you.. my son calls everyone how I introduce them to him... The only one that gets a Mr/Mrs/Ms is his teacher. I don't think it's disrespectful at all... I'm sure you're raising a respectful little man!

Loren said...

I'm like you.. my son calls everyone how I introduce them to him... The only one that gets a Mr/Mrs/Ms is his teacher. I don't think it's disrespectful at all... I'm sure you're raising a respectful little man!

Becky said...

i always just have hannah call people by their 1st names if their my friends. it might also be because i'm a young mom too but i dont know. i remember calling my moms friends by their first names. to me its not disrespectful if they're not an authority figure like a teacher or something!

jsull said...

My kids call my brides personal friends by either their first names or a nick name (Jodie is jo-jo etc) They call my friends Mr. First name or Mrs. first name.(Mr. Mike/Mrs. Christy) They call aquantices (sp) Mr/Mrs last name. They call their friends parents Mr/Mrs/ last name.
That show of respect doesn't bother me much but they call EVERYONE older than them Sir or Ma'am reguardless of the relationship that person has with My bride or me.
They might say Hi jo-jo and she ask are you doing ok? My kids BETTER say yes/no Ma'am. They also better say thank you please your welcome etc.
I realize those things happen more in the south but thats the way us crackers do it.
jsull28fl@yaho

ali said...

mrs. martell is my mother in law.
period.

Mieke said...

Ha! I guess we are all raising heathens?? Or maybe, just maybe, it's the other way around! My daughter calls everyone by their 1st name (except teachers). We did live in the south for 6yrs, and there my daughter did call people "Miss or Mr. or Mrs. so and so" because it's the south and it's different there. But here in CA that's not an issue. Who of us really wants to be called anything than our name, you know, who we are. Wierd.

dcrmom said...

When my friends started having kids and wanted them to call me Mrs. Last Name, I was like "No way! So I became Aunt First Name to the kids of those we were good friends with.

Then I became a teacher and got used to be Mrs. Last Name, so it doesn't sound so odd to me now.

In our neighborhood (we just moved here a year ago), most everyone does the Mr. and Mrs. thing. It seems like the younger parents do Mr. or Miss First Name and the older ones are Mr. and Mrs. Last Name.

Erin said...

My oldest call my friends "miss" or "mister" until that person tells them not too. Usually younger people dont want to be called that. So I am not really strict about it. With the older generation, he knows that it is a must. My youngest is the heathen child, so he will just probably say "What's up mf'er?" to everyone. :) God, let that not be true.

Jenni said...

I despise being called "Mrs. ________" so i don't make my kids call people that, either. They are a first-name basis with all my friends.

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

Good Question. I have my son call people by their first names, or if it's an elderly relative I'll have him say "Ms. Lisa" Or Ms. Katie Or something like that.

My mom's a preschool teacher and teh kids call her Mrs. So and SO, even though she is divorced and has told them a gazillion times to call her Ms. So and So.
Lisa


Lisa

Melissa said...

I think it is whatever you and that person are comfortable with. My kids call all my friends by their first names or even stupid nicknames. But even though I call my boss by his first name, when I introduced the kids to him I used his last name. But he is old and I know he liked it. ;0)

But not friends, I can't imagine that. Hell as a kid, I didn't do that with my friends parents either.

carrie said...

With friends, we introduce eachother with first names - unless it's a teacher or something. With new people or older people (friends of my parents, grandparents, elderly neighbor, etc.) we use the Mr./Mrs. until they tell us otherwise!

Carrie

alison said...

Our kids call our friends by their first names and that's what I prefer other kids to call me (unless they're my students, then of course it's Mrs. Last Name!). I don't like the "Miss First Name" because it feels all preschool to me and, really, I just hate the sound of it. So, first names for us! :)

Lisa said...

Oh crap. I have no idea. I don't know... I ask the mom what she prefers. And then I forgot and probably piss her off. My son refers to alot of my friends who have kids as "Blake's mom" or "Mitchell's mom" or something along that lines...

My child is a heathen too.

radioactive girl said...

Most of my friend's kids call me Miss Tori, despite my telling them repeatedly that Tori is just fine. My kids call other grownups whatever they have been introduced as. I usually start with Mr. or Mrs. last name and then ask what they would prefer my kids to call them. Some friends that we have known forever they just use first names for. If you are raising a disrespectful kid, then so am I.

Kimmie said...

For me, when growing up it depended on who it was and the setting we were in. Mom and dads friends were called by the first names, unless like I said it was a formal setting.

Today, with my kids' friends if one of them even thought of calling me Mrs. S I would snap. I hate that name... makes me sound oldre than I am. And my kids call all our friends by their first name.

I don't thing it is disrepectful at all, there are far worse things than that.

Anonymous said...

I think it depends on who they are and what I know about their mannerisms. If I think they are sticklers for manners, then I will introduce them as Miss so&so or Mr so&so.
I think you're right tho, having them young kind of changes your perspective a bit.

Jenny said...

I grew up addressing grownups by their first names, except when they were introduced as a Mr. or Mrs.

My kids do the same thing. We're pretty informal around here.

Mrs. Chicky said...

I don't know what to do about this either. I do believe that adults in certain positions do need to be addressed as Mr./Mrs. - teachers, for instance. I think the child's parents should also be addressed using Mr./Mrs. But close friends of mine? Strictly first name basis, baby.

russ said...

I know a "Pierogi Lady"

Anonymous said...

When I introduce my friends to my daughter, I usually call them Mr or Miss Firstname. It still shows respect but is less formal than a last name.

Meg said...

I think times have changed and it is perfectly fine for kids to use first names, as long as the adults are okay with it. I don't remember ever calling anyonoe Mr. and Mrs., unless they were people I barely knew. Friends parents and my parents' friends were all first-name-basis for me.

So, no, I don't think you're raising a heathen.

spidey said...

I don't know what my future kids will call people--probably by their first names mostly. I do find it annoying that my older niece and nephew never call me Aunt Cheryl, just Cheryl. I know it's because I was young when they were born, but it does seem disrespectful to me. Not sure why though, because I am so not a formal person. I just couldn't imagine calling my aunts and uncles by just their first names!

Sam said...

I'm raising a disrespectful heathen, too!

denise said...

In my experience the only people who get offended by such things will certainly let you know it. I called a customer by her 1st name once because I was unsure what to use, I didnt know if she was married or not so I stumbled with mrs. miss. ms. and when I said her 1st name she said "its mrs. so&so to you YOUNG LADY". I dont do that with my kids.

Virginia Belle said...

my mom would correct us if we didn't say "mr." or "mrs."--we would get in trouble. i still call adults who are much older than me "mr." or "mrs."

if a kid comes over to our house and doesn't call my mom "Mrs. Belle", she will correct them.

she doesn't play around w/that.

although, very close friends of my parents are "aunt susie" or "uncle john" or whatever.

maybe it's a southern thing??? or maybe it's because my parents were old school.

i have noticed that in the south, VERY old ladies (like, 80s+) are called, "Miss Louise" or "Miss Daisy" or whatever--even if they were married at one point. it's kind of like a compliment--but a joke at the same time--like, "there's no way you are old enough to be married!" har har, right? i don't know why this happens in the south, but it does. maybe they are widows now and they are technically single? it's kind of nice, actually. very old fashioned.

and "yes ma'am" and "no ma'am" (etc.) will also be corrected at the Belle house. it is the only acceptable answer. to this day, i say it to my mom.

i guess just watch your Ps & Qs when you are in the south?!

Virginia Belle said...

and yes, i will probably raise my kids the same way.

no one will ever say, "oh, that blake. he's TOO polite. what a brat."

you know? :)

it's better than, "That Blake kid needs to learn some manners when speaking to adults. Where is his mother? Is that her?"

Mr. and Mrs. can't hurt. that's what i say.