Friday, August 25, 2006

this is where i ask for help

for my sister.

she is in the middle.. end.. who knows, it seems to NEVER end.. of such a nasty divorce. i have never been more surprised at someone's character than i have been since their split. my ex-brother in law has turned into a spiteful, nasty, mean, cold hearted, piece of shit. and i never knew he had it in him. i never knew he could be so downright fucking awful. what i don't understand is how he sees things. how he can be so fucking excited to screw my sister financially. how he thinks this is all about sticking it to her... when the reality is, he's really screwing his kids. that sentence was gross. ew. you know what i mean though. i have the impression that he could care less about the struggles they're going through. how the kids are totally screwed up emotionally and how all of this takes a serious toll on both the kids and my sister. he doesn't care about my sister's emotional state. fine, don't care about her. but do you even stop to think about the kids? do you even consider the fact that the state my sister is in AFFECTS the children who live with her? of course he doesn't think about that- because all he thinks about is himself.

my sister couldn't afford a lawyer during their numerous court appearances. in the end, she got completely screwed. because ex bro in law had the lawyer from hell, and my sister had no one. well she got paperwork in the mail that is all wrong. numbers are wrong. dates are wrong. it's all fucked up. she HAS to go back to court. and this time, i really don't think she should go without counsel. i know that there has to be some sort of help for her out there in situations like this, but i don't know where to find them. so does anyone know? someone has to know SOMETHING in regards to this. help, please? she's in the southern california area, ventura county. and thank you SO much in advance.

29 comments:

Stephanie A. said...

check yer email- I just emailed you about this.

sorry your sister is going through so much crap. best of luck to her.

HUGS!!!

Dustin said...

i can't help

...well maybe i can. Maybe we are in similar situations and can be friends.

would you have a problem with me dating your sister?

alison said...

I don't know what to tell you. I know one lawyer but he doesn't specialize in this kind of law.

Too bad Gloria Allred wouldn't take the case pro bono. She'd stick it to him good!

Mike said...

I also emailed you a couple of ideas.

Lisa said...

I am SO very sorry to har about this. You are right. He IS hurting his kids. I hope he gets his head out of his ass soon!

Plunky said...

OMG. I hate to hear about crap like this. So MUCH of this kind of thing going around. How does this happen? I am so sorry your sister has to go through this and yes, even more sorry for her poor children caught in the middle.

I wish I could help. The only lawyer I know is in Commercial Litigation not divorce. Im sorry!

Mrs. Chicky said...

Ugh. This brought back some bad memories. Unfortunately, in divorces it's all about the money and who can stick it to the other first and worst. Hugs to your sister and her kids.

jen said...

BIG HUGS to your sister. I have never understood the ugly divorce stuff...especially when kiddos are involved.
Are there any women law groups in her area? We have one in Washington State...not sure about Cali...

theresa said...

I am a matrimonial law specialist in New York. If you'd like to chat about any aspect of what your sister is going thru I can help, but the laws are different in CA.

Mother Bumper said...

how come divorces go like this? I'm sorry I don't have any advice but I know up here in Canada you can go to legal-aid for free advice and depending on the case, free services (I've done it in the past for different kind of cases). I'm sorry that your sister is going through this.

Tori said...

Poor lamb....
She does need legal council though J...Some places offer free advice especially if there are kids involved who are being traumatised. SHe also needs to talk to her or her kids doc and see if there's a family therapist who'll talk everything over with them and make them understand - becasue despite all the anger, they will still blame your sister!!! Shit I know but that's the way it goes!
Try...

www.dblegal.com
www.legaladvicesearch.com

There are others... the therapist might also have some ideas...

Kisses to her....

Fazzy said...

Poor lamb....
She does need legal council though J...Some places offer free advice especially if there are kids involved who are being traumatised. SHe also needs to talk to her or her kids doc and see if there's a family therapist who'll talk everything over with them and make them understand - becasue despite all the anger, they will still blame your sister!!! Shit I know but that's the way it goes!
Try...

www.dblegal.com
www.legaladvicesearch.com

There are others... the therapist might also have some ideas...

Kisses to her....

Tori said...

Ok so I just resent the same comment but now I have become my bloody daughter!!!!!!
That's what happens when the little bitches start messing with the grown up stuff!!!!

blackbeltmama said...

I'm on the other side of the country but there are organizations that can help. Under human services in the yellow pages you can usually find organizations that might at least be able to point her in the right direction. What a mess. I hope it gets better.

Suebob said...

Here are some numbers to try:

Conejo Free Clinic Legal Services
Primary Address: 80 E Hillcrest Dr, Ste 211
City: Thousand Oaks
State: CA
Zip: 91360-7881
General Phone: 805-497-3575
Fax: 805-497-4099
Counties Served: Ventura
Case Types: Adoption, Bankruptcy, Consumer, Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Domestic Violence, Elder Law, Employment, Health, Housing, Immigration, Individual Rights, Juvenile, Real Estate, Termination of Parental Rights




Self Help Legal Access Center Superior Court Of Ventura County
Primary Address: 1500 Colonia Rd, Ste 20
City: Oxnard
State: CA
Zip: 93030
General Phone: 805-483-1564
Fax: 805-483-1413


Ventura County Bar Association Pro Bono Program
Primary Address: 4475 Market St
City: Ventura
State: CA
Zip: 93003-8051
General Phone: 805-650-7599
Fax: 805-650-8059
Counties Served: Ventura
Case Types: Bankruptcy, Consumer, Custody, Dissolution of Marriage, Elder Law, Housing, Immigration, Real Estate
Web Site: http://www.vcba.org

Big Pumpkin said...

I've had a few divorces in my family. You'll be amazed how some men can take a 360 degree turn when their egos are bruised. And to think that I actually really liked some of them as they had such good humour. Bleaghh! to them now after what they do to their own children. These are things you shouldnt even do to normal people, let alone your own children!

I'm sorry I can't help. I know lots of lawyers but I'm not in your part of he world....Hugs to your sis. Be there for her, it's tough. Divorce is always painful for all parties involved.

Sarah said...

Isn't it amazing how divorce brings out the the core of a person? I think you really know a person by how they conduct themselves in these types of situations.

Thank God they are divorcing. He sounds like a real asshole.

If the kids have enough people who are loving, strong role models around them, they will be okay I think.

Hope your sister gets some counsel. It is a must that she go to court prepared when going up against an asshole like this.

Good luck to her and her family.

Chantal said...

No advice, but man this sucks. What I wonder is how your exBILS lawyer sleeps at night sticking it to a single Mom and her kids?

Catherine said...

I was in a similar situation not that long ago...HORRIBLE. GUT-WRENCHING HORRIBLE. And, since I can't offer any good, sound advice, maybe I should just stop here.

For what it's worth, I am always available for moral support.

Denise said...

Women and children usually get screwed in a divorce. I'm just starting my divorce proceedings...I refuse to get screwed this time. (This is my second divorce.)

I'm really sorry that your sister is dealing with such an asshole. Karma is a bitch...this will come back and bite him in the ass.

Kentucky Girl said...

Ugh. I sooo wish I had advice. I tried to get my brother to get a better lawyer when he was going through his divorce, but he wouldn't listen to me. Now he's completely fucked. I hate my ex-SIL though. *sigh* Good luck to your sister, I hope things work out as easily as possible.

Karl said...

God, I hate assholes. Why do people have to be such dicks?

Karen said...

I am divorce lawyer in NJ. Here we have pro bono services for low income families. But if the husband could afford an attorney, the courts sometimes require that he put up money so that the parties are on equal footing. You just have to know what to ask for.

In any case, at this point your sister should contact the local (county) bar association and ask for a referal. They may have attorneys who will work for a reduced fee.

Good luck!

Kevin Charnas said...

Will Legal Aid provide her any counsel? I don't know what their stipulations are for providing free counsel. Or maybe a sliding scale kind of thing? Or maybe approach an attorney with her case and have some sort of agreement where the attorney receives certain payment should they win (which would at least give her more than what she's currently getting)?

that sucks, that fuckhead. i'll be sending positive thoughts her way...

Mom101 said...

Oh I wish I had some advice. Divorce does shitty things to people. So sorry.

Izzy said...

I'm sorry for your sis, Jenn. It's hard to watch someone you love be put through so much. But, it looks like some people came through with some great info. I hope it helps her.

Virginia Belle said...

ster, i'm really sorry to hear about all this. that sucks. i hope things get better for her.

i wish i could offer some advice, but it sounds like you have gotten some good info. if you need me to research anything else, just let me know.

you should tell her to get a big asshole lawyer. he will hook her up. :)

ginger incognito said...

I wish I could help. All I can offer is some great big virtual hugs. My best friend just finalized her divorce, and it was horrible how her now-ex-husband went from being a genuinely nice guy to . . . well, the words that come to mind are just too awful to type. The Husband thinks he popped a gasket mentally, pulled a Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde, if you will. And the saddest part is how screwed-over the kids get. It's not just about the money, but also about how cruelly their mom gets treated and how that affects all of them. Can I just hope your soon-to-be-ex-brother-in-law hits a nasty pothole on his way to the courthouse?

spidey said...

I feel so bad for your sis and her kids. I hope she can get legal representation, because that is not even right that he has it and she does it.

My sis is about to go through a nasty divorce too. It's amazing how people who seem to be nice and decent turn into these evil psychos when getting a divorce... :(