Wednesday, August 23, 2006

the greek system can bite my ass

good lord. i just got a call from my BFF (i SO know she's reading this) who goes to a kick ass school in southern california. our conversation quickly turned from business, to life.. which it often does whenever we talk to eachother. life is way more fun than business anyway- and plus she's super fun to talk too. she probably hates reading that because i think she wants to be bitchy and hardcore.. and definitely not fun! too bad woman- you're fun, so deal!! :)

so we were talking about sororities and frats (they hate being called frats, so i'm going to call them that) and how it's rush week on campus. i almost choked when i asked her if she was rushing. she almost choked trying to spit out a reply of not only no, but "hell no." i really did know better, but i had to be sure. maybe the summer changed her? maybe she suddenly felt the need to be accepted by a group of girls who are nice to your face, but talk shit behind your back? i think it's difficult enough for girls to constantly get along and genuinely like one another, that putting them all in a house together to live is just a recipe for disaster. i think sororities promote all these things, that sometimes, people just can't be. and they pick and choose who they want in their "club." and then they make you pay money to be a part of it. make excuses all you want for what a sorority did for you, but i didn't need to pay for friends. it wasn't something i wanted to be a part of. i never felt the need to be in a club... or be included. i never felt the need to female bond, or be around a group of girls in that manner. and i never wanted to do any of the shit they "required" you to do. i hate being told what to do- i certainly wasn't going to let some girl my age tell me what to do with my life and my time. don't get me wrong- i don't hate all sorority girls or anything like that (although about 90% of them were total bitches who needed to get over themselves and their self imposed importance). there were some very cool chicks who were in sororities when i was in college. and i was friends with them. and i loved going to frat parties. they always had the best ones. so i guess the greek system was good for something.

i am totally straying from my point. yes, i have one. so my BFF informed me that the girls in the sorority sit outside on their porch and sing while the guys in frats sit on lawn chairs drinking beers. and when the rushees (the girls trying to join the sorority) walk by, the guys in the lawn chairs rate them. THEY RATE THEM. i almost blew animal cookies out of my nose when she told me this. are you fucking kidding me?!?!! as if girls don't have enough insecurities or enough to deal with, now the guys sit on their fat asses, drinking beer, and RATE THEM on a scale from 1-10 as they walk by????? how fucking archaic is that shit?! i mean, honestly. who the hell are these guys to sit there and rate girls who are trying to join something, for whatever reason? what a bunch of assholes. the guys and the girls both. i'm sure everyone on campus thinks it's funny, but i think it's fucking rude. and it pisses me off. why isn't anyone offended by that behavior? why doesn't anyone look at that and see how ridiculous it is? guys rating girls. as if we're objects to be rated. as if we don't deal with that enough on a daily basis just existing.. it has to be reinforced now at school? and it's OKAY. hell, it's encouraged. this just adds to the many reasons why i think the greek system is a total joke. and why certain types of guys are total assholes. and why girls in sororities are freaking rude as hell to other girls. encouraging people to judge and rate others solely based on how they look. how inspiring. how uplifting. who wouldn't want to be a part of that?

32 comments:

Kristen said...

Fuck stupid frat guys. I knew ONE frat guy. Learned my lesson and never knew another FRAT GUY again. Yuck. I can't believe these girls actually let them just sit on their fat asses and rate them!

Becky said...

when i was in HS i always thought i'd wanna be a part of a sorority. and then when i started college and saw how they REALLY were vs. how they were on tv, i said no way. i wasn't the least bit interested in any of it. i think its ridiculous. and i've heard of this rating thing. i used to have a few frat guys as friends. that made me sick. who made them the authority on girls and their "ratings"?????

jen said...

Hate frats...hate sororities. Period.
Dated a frat boy who freaked out once cuz i put on his sweatshirt...which had the LETTERS on it...and he told me I HAD to take it off cuz he hadn't pinned me so I could not wear the letters.
HELLOOOOOOOO!!!! And that was TWO YEARS after he graduated.
We broke up soon after...after I put it on the next night and danced around his apartment drunk yelling "Fuck your frat and the damn letters LOSER!"
Needless to say...I never got pinned...by him. ;)

Mommy off the Record said...

Man, I got pissed reading this post! That whole rating thing...gah

*see the steam coming out my ears?*

I never joined a sorority. It never even crossed my mind. I don't like the cliquiness that they exude.

Did you see the recent special on sorority hazing? I think it was on Primetime. I could. not. BELIEVE the types of things some of these sororities do to these girls. It was horrific.

Piece of Work said...

Oh god no. Sororities are the devil's playground as they say. I hate them when I was in school, and all their matchy matchy socks and stupid little cheers and worrying about who's daddy made the most money. BARF.

Of course, I then went on to marry a frat boy. But he's not like that, I swear! Maybe he was then, though I hope not.

That whole rating thing is beyond offensive but I know that sort of thing happened on my campus, 15 years ago, too.

1girl2boys said...

Man I hear ya! I hated all that stuff when I was in school. I had to walk past a lot of the sorority houses to get to my apartment from campus and it was sickening.

Melissa said...

And if one of them rates a girl higher than the rest, they will ask you to come and turn in front of them. And the worst part is, some women will. Idiots, the whole thing is so dumb.

Melissa said...

Ster,

Do you remember that show on MTV, sorority life or whatever?

alison said...

Don't bring up Sorority Life! That show followed a sorority at my alma mater and I don't know where they found those DUMB girls, but it was in no way representative of the school and students.

mothergoosemouse said...

Oy. I was in a sorority, and it was ridiculous. I posted about it too - http://mothergoosemouse.com/2005/08/28/sisters-were-doin-it-for-themselves/ - you might like it, as I learned a lot of what you and your BFF already know, but I had to learn it the hard way.

chris said...

And none of the women say anything?

You know I would be shouting back, "ZERO. You are a 0, loser"

Mike said...

I never went away to school and therefore never was in a "frat". I agree that there is no reason for guys to do that to the girls. I mean, guys kinda do that rating thing anyway, but never out loud; escpecially not to the girls directly. I would never have the nerve to be yelling out, "You're #1!! OUT OF 100!!!"

Now Jennster........you're a 10!! Now my wife, she's an 11!! (out of 10 of course)

Chantal said...

Yeah, this stuff happened outside the frats at my university in Nova Scotia. My only retort to them was that it was kind of ironic, them rating women, with their beer guts and bad farmer's tans, burping their ratings in our faces.

Yeah, I'll pass on the frat guys who do that.

Christina_the_wench said...

This is why women hate themselves physically and become anorexic or bulimic or have plastic surgery to better enhance their looks. Society encourages this shit. Sad beyond belief.

Lisa said...

They RATE them? Grrr. SOunds like the idea of a really mean girl who's attractive and KNOWS it. A girl who pitched it to a bunch of stupid guys who were all, "Sign me up!"

Jenn said...

At least they only do it to the girls who are joining. If they wanna join something so stupid, then they deserve it!

And my husband (Mike) needs glasses if he thinks I'm an 11. But he's cute. =o)

Moobs said...

We don't have them in UK universities. If it wasn't for Animal House I would say no good could come of them

Mega Mom said...

Do you think I'd be a 9 if I walked by?

FFF said...

Sororities are so homogenous. And the rating thing makes me really angry. But some girls like to play cutesy like that.

stefanierj said...

I guess the prevailing attitude must be, "Practice for being on The Bachelor begins now!" Maybe they should make that their little motto or whatever.

I'm just saying guys in college were assholes to me and I didn't even have to pay to be in a club for it! Woo hoo!

Dustin said...

most of the girls do the same thing with guys....i think it's just a game that younger people like to play to make themselves feel better now adays. I just ignore them personally.

creative-Type Dad (Tony) said...

This doesn't sound like anything new here.

I really don't respect anybody in those things.
A few years ago I had to hire somebody for a job, this guy proudly posted some Gama-Gama Go-whatever on his resume'...

I threw it in the trash. That's what we all do.

Go to college for a freakin' education. Not to party like it's 1999.

Suebob said...

My HS psych teacher got sick of the boys judging the girls as they walked by this one spot. So he gave a bunch of girls the diving score cards and had them literally rank the boys...just to give them a taste of it. Pretty funny.

Lena said...

Well we know you and I are 10's...so I'm okay with it. ;)

Plunky said...

This is funny because I was in a sorority and talked about it on my blog. I won't stick up for them in general b/c don't know everyone's experiences with them. I joined b/c if I didn't, honestly, I wouldn't have had a life.

If you didn't play any sports, you joined a frat or sorority or went into theater(um, freaks at my school). I paid 175.00 for the year to be in the thing and we didn't even have a house(you, know b/c in PA any house with over 5 women in it was considered a "brothel", no joke).

For me, it was about boys and beer...I had a blast but then again, I didn't get hazed or told what to do either.

Meg said...

I know what you mean. I could never stand sorority girls and I was also of the same mindset that I was NOT going to pay for friends.

However, I had an experience as a teen at church camp, no less, where the guys sat around rating the girls. It was humiliating because I was this tall lanky girl with a flat chest, hanging out with all of the "hot" girls. I avoided those guys like the plague, as I was scared of what they would say to me. So I know somewhat how those girls who are rushing feel. Although I think they are ridiculous and stupid for trying to join a greek society, they really don't need guys putting in their stupid opinions on the physical!

blackbeltmama said...

I was in a sorority for a year and a half. It would have only been a year but I was living in the sorority suite and couldn't get housing elsewhere. I quit and never looked back. It was stupid, awful, and no matter what anyone says, there's a hell of a lot of demeaning things that go on. Sisterly love, my ass.

Kim said...

I had a horrible sorority experience. I rushed as a junior knowing what sorority I wanted to be in because several of my HS friends were in it. I was basically a shoo in since those girls were all pulling for me and they only took two juniors that year. BUT while I was a pledge one of the sisters stole my credit card out of my purse at a formal and racked up tons of charges and cash advances. She was a favorite among the other girls and even the sorority president defended HER to me. I'm with blackbeltmama...sisterly love, my ass. Can you say DEPLEDGE??? It was one of the worst things I ever went through. I hope my daughter won't want to rush when she's in college. Ugh.

Ali-Mama said...

I was in a sorority at a big university, and I really enjoyed the experience. I don't agree with fraternity guys rating new pledges, that is completely stupid and immature. Unless you have been in a sorority how can you judge what they are really like? Were you not in any other type of club or organization in school that you had to pay dues? Did you make any lasting friendships? It is no different.

Izzy said...

I think you've read me enough and know me well enough to know that this is the kind of shit that gets me SO FIRED UP! And clearly you and I are similar in that way (it's a Virgo thing..lol)

I will never understand why girls will chuck their self-repsect out the window to do any number of things...joining a stupid pay-to-play sorority being the least of them. The men are assholes for doing it but the girls are bunch of idiots for participating in it. how about say ing NO? How about saying this is demeaning? How about NOT joining any stupid club that wants you to disrespect yourself in this way?

Oooooh...it makes me so mad. And sad for young girls. Seriously...

Virginia Belle said...

ummm....yeah. i was in a sorority.

and my greek experience was nothing like that. we never talked about money, we never made anyone do anything. you could break the rules, and you would just get a wedgie or something. nothing evil or mean. for the most part, we all got along really well. sure, some people weren't best friends, but i never saw a fight or witnessed anything catty. overall, we were really laid back and supportive. i spent many nights consoling crying girls and being consoled by other girls when i was sick or upset. We helped each other study and we had movie nights.

then again, i can't speak for all sororities, just mine.

i went to a HUGE HUGE college where i knew very few people. it helped me meet tons of people on campus--my social life was great. it would have been much much more boring at college if i hadn't rushed.

and i was NEVER discouraged from hanging out with non-Greeks. They were always welcome and would often come over to eat dinner with us or go to parties with us.

we DID have self-esteem and we DID say no. we had an iron-clad buddy system--we watched out for each other. we didn't party with frat houses just because they were "cool", we partied with the guys who were nice and who had parties where we felt safe and respected. we went to one house, and they were assholes to us. we blackballed them for 4 years--and as far as i know, we still are. so we DID stick up for ourselves.

rush is very stressful--i'm not going to lie. in my house, we were really concerned about letting uptight, high-maintenance girls or um...girls with less-than-stellar reputations into our house. they wouldn't have gotten along with us. you are friends with people because you have things in common with them--values, goals, hobbies. everyone is like that, not just greeks.

we were more interested in beer than boys, almost all of us were totally broke, most of us didn't date or dated non-Greeks, and we went to class in our PJs. we weren't your typical sorority girls!

i'm really sad to see how many people here are so negative about it. i wish people didn't listen to stereotypes, because we can ALL be judged by stereotypes. not all sororities are like the ones they showed on that documentary. you have to realize they want to dramatize things for tv. sororities donate a lot of money to charities--and i have donated some money myself, both as a student and as an alumni.

we aren't always the assholes everyone thinks we are. we are people, too. i'm saddened that some bad apples have ruined it for people like me, who are proud to be greek and loved every minute of it. my experience was very much like Plunky's. no system is perfect. we are just human beings like everyone else. i don't bash on people for NOT being Greek. and by being so negative and hating it so much, you aren't any better than the snootiest sorority girl. in fact, you are the same.

ster, i'm sorry to get so defensive about all this, but it gets old hearing people bashing it when a lot of people really enjoy it.

i'm really sorry you guys feel this way. i'm not a snob or a bitch, and i never have been. i'm not loaded with Daddy's money, either. i hope i can convince you of this through my words and actions.

although i will say that 90% of frat boys are animals. seriously, they are pigs. in every sense of the word. but even the IU guys weren't that big of assholes. that shit wouldn't have flown with us!

Katie (bff) said...

i love being your BFF.......bid night was the other night- all the girls joined up (including some of my close girlfriends...)

ugh.

you should see them all prancing around in itsy bitsy booty shorts and their designated sorority's shirt.......it makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little bit.

ok now im definitely stalking you.



and i am hardcore, yo!