Wednesday, August 02, 2006

football has started

blake started football yesterday. it's his first time playing and i am so excited i could just pee! i don't know why honestly. i could give a rats ass about football, but i'm just excited for blake to be playing another sport aside from baseball. plus, he's been wanting to play it for years now, so i think i'm just happy that he is finally getting the chance.

the coaches were telling us parents at the team meeting all sorts of things like, "your son is going to want to quit. don't let him. it's going to be hard. he's going to cry. he might puke. he's going to hate it. he's going to be sore. he's going to whine." and tons of other things. all things that are more than likely, very realistic. but then i had a thought.... if you don't tell the kids these types of things, they might not even think them.

example- i asked blake last night after his almost 3 hour practice if he was sore or if his legs hurt. he said, "no- i feel awesome." so i just figured he would be sore this morning. he wasn't. (i think i've birthed a superhero)

the point i'm trying to make in a very non well written or thought out way is this- i could say things to blake about something hurting (because it should), or something making him throw up (because it might), or things of that nature- but then i feel like i'm putting "negative" thoughts into his head that otherwise wouldn't be there.

right now, blake thinks he can do anything. and why shouldn't he? there's no reason for him to think that he "can't" run for 3 hours at practice and still feel fine. there's no reason for him to not believe in himself. kids are awesome that way. they never think there is something they can't do, until someone puts it in their head that they can't. or gives them the idea that they "shouldn't" be able to do it. so i'm going to be very aware of how i ask him things. instead of asking if he's sore, i'm just going to ask how he's feeling. instead of asking if practice was hard, i'm just going to ask how it was.

we grow up thinking we can't do so many things because we shouldn't be able to- without even trying. and i don't want blake to think that way. i want him to learn for himself through trying. i don't want him to limit himself because of the fears of the adults around him. because of the words people say without thinking of the impact it has. blake believes in himself and i believe in him.

36 comments:

FFF said...

That's a great gift to Blake that you will give him. He'll truly establish his own sense of self and self esteem that way. Parents can inadvertently label us or steer us in one way or another so we miss out on untapped potential, but it sounds Blake's going to have the chance to figure it out on his own, the way it should be! What a great mom you are!

Tori said...

I hear ya girl....
It's almost tempting fate to say... well they could get this and this and this... so as the mommy you just sit and wonder and worry...
If you say nothing and just play by your kids rules there isn't so much expectation or let down.
LOVED the Blogher pics btw... feel very jelous....It's next year for me!
You and I however, will be a dangerous combo I fear....
Stay away from me...
We may never make it out alive!

Stephanie A. said...

I really hope that you have a daughter one day. I think that this mentality is great for Blake, but I also think that it would really be wonderful to raise a daughter that way.

PS- please know my dedication to the beauty that is Jennster. trying to comment took forever. then again, I AM blogging at the salad bar at the grocery store, though.

Stephanie A. said...

I love your attitude on this one, Jenn. I wish that more kids (girls especially) were given the gift of life without a full-on adult filter.

PS- You have no idea exactly how dedicated I am to the beauty that is Jennster, btw. It was so hard to get my comment to stick, but I stuck with it. Granted, that's probably what I get for blogging at the grocery store, though.

Stephanie A. said...

I'm also extremely dedicated to stupid too. Sorry for the double post.

jennster said...

LMFAO- stephanie- I LOVE YOU!

carrie said...

That is so true!!! We also had our first day of practice (soccer) last night and this morning, first thing out of Wyatt's mouth is "when is soccer"? This, after a marathon practice, running around chasing the ball and sweating his you-know-whats off! He was crushed that we have to wait until Thursday.

I too will do everything to ensure that he and his siblings always think they are superheroes! :)

Have fun with Blake!

Carrie

Mayberry said...

Right on mama! Also, remind me again how old is Blake? Because this coach sounds like a hardass!

mothergoosemouse said...

Excellent point, Jenn. The power of suggestion is huge - both positive and negative.

Kel said...

So true. There are so many times when I almost say "You Can't" and catch myself. Let him try and see....

Let him determine his own limits and both of you will be happier.

You are so right on momma!

Jamie said...

I totally agree - you are very smart indeed!

Jenn said...

~~BLAKSTER THE SUPERHERO~~
- Leaps tall buildings in a single bound.
- runs and practices for hours and still feel awsome!
- runs faster that a speeding bullet.
- steals second in peewee baseball when the other kids don't even know what that means yet.

Yea, you should totally get him a cape!

**meanwhile I'm still taking notes on your parenting skills.**

creative-Type Dad (Tony) said...

You're doing the RIGHT thing!!

I had a mother who would stop me from even walking if she could, just because of the "what if's".

Kevin Charnas said...

RIGHT ON!!! My Mother has always instilled in me that I can do and be ANYTHING I want, as long as I want it bad enough...it has been a gift that I will ALWAYS be thankful for.

Elizabeth said...

I just realized that I am holding my kids back from sports, because I was told all my life that I couldn't do them. Jesus, what kind of mother am I?? I can make all kinds of excuses about how it's expensive and time-consuming and requires me to actually leave the house, but what I'm really doing is denying my kids a chance to see what they can do. *sniff* God, Jennster, see what reading your blog does to me? It makes me all INSIGHTFUL or whatever. Thanks a lot!! :) xoxo

Mel said...

Jennster, man, I fully heart you.
I hope to all the gods in the pantheons that I'm doing this as a parent, and I'll have to watch and listen to my interactions with the girls for the next little while to see if it's so.
Such a small thing, how you phrase your words to your kids, but what a huge difference it can make.

Piece of Work said...

Awesome, Ster! He will continue to be fearless because he is modeling you.

alison said...

Football is hot. :)

I think your little man CAN do anything he wants and it's wonderful that you are empowering him to be confident and capable. There are too many whiney children out there these days and we don't need anymore!

Meg said...

Wow I've never thought of it that way, but it's so true! I will definately be using that train of thought when it comes time for Squeaks to experience new things.

Mega Mom said...

You're a much deeper thinker than I thought Leg Humper.

Nancy said...

I think your approach is right on. I've noticed a difference between the way my two girls handle injury (or perceived injury) -- with the older one we'd react immediately if we saw something that might be painful, so she became super finetuned to anything that *might* hurt without actually seeing if it *did* sometimes. With our little one, we wait to react -- sometimes we don't at all -- and frequently she'll just pick herself up and dust herself off.

Hey, tell Blake if he wants to be a superhero he might want to work on his invisibility skills. That's one of the coolest superpowers.

spidey said...

Aww, that is too sweet! You are a kick ass momma!!! :)

Mary Tsao said...

This is exactly how I want to parent my kids, too. It's harder than it sounds, but yes, think of how great a gift it is for the kids. You rock!

Lisa Goldstein/Kelly Kelly said...

That is so true. No need to fill his head with negativity. He sounds awesome!

Lisa

Mommy off the Record said...

That's a great approach, Jennster.

So, not only do I get fun "leg-humping" action from you, but I also get great parenting tips for when Little Guy is older.

Indeed, you are the whole package.

Nila said...

My first time here.

You're so right. It's like when your toddler falls and looks for your reaction. If you don't make a fuss, they never cry as much as if you gasp, jump up and run to their rescue.

My son had his first sports injury last week. He plays basketball and pulled a muscle in his chest. I'll admit I was a little freaked when he held his chest on the left side and said it hurt, repeatedly.

You're brave to do football.

Christina_the_wench said...

No blood, no foul has always been my motto but I'm a wench so....

Go Blake! I wanna see photos. Little dudes in big bulky uniforms crack me up. They are too cute.

Java Mom..... said...

My son's best friend just started football and it's 3 hours of running and getting thrashed....we will see how it goes....

I try and let my kids know they can do anything they want....I also try to believe it myself....life's not over yet baby!!!

Kristin said...

Perfect sentiment and perfect approach...

Izzy said...

I'm with you, as usual. Don't tell him all that crap. How stupid to take something fun and make it sound so awful. Bleh! He'll make up his own my mind.

{{hugs}}

Eileen said...

Well said!

1girl2boys said...

Glad he likes it so far and it's not running him down. I love football and can't wait for my boys to play. If they want to, of course. My daughter started cheerleading practice Tuesday and we saw all the little footballers out there running the field.

stefanierj said...

Don't you think coaches and stuff say this kind of shit because they're basically projecting THEIR experience onto the kids?? I know I do this all the time, and it annoys the crap outta me. Like when we moved to Salt Lake City, I was all, "Ooooh, my little man is going to be so stressed" because *I* was stressed. So of course he was. But then I got my own shit together and pulled my head out of my ass and he's much, much better now. Duh.

So thanks for this post. It's crucial that parents see how much power they have (and use it for good!!)

Virginia Belle said...

1. you are such a good mommy. i like your philosophy. blake will grow up w/o fear because of a smart mommy.

2. yes, i am starting back on august the 2nd. i'm really sorry that i am so behind. can i blame bloglines? it's partially their fault.

3. feel free to smack my ass. hard.

4. i am trying to catch up, so i'm not reading the other comments. i hope they forgive me. i'm sure the comments are spiffy.

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