i feel like i should check myself into a recovery center in malibu or something. i wasn't prepared for this part of blogher. the end part. the "it's all over and everyone is gone" part. i definitely couldn't have predicted feeling this way.
it's a total emotional letdown. like coming off a high that's lasted 3 days. you surround yourself with hundreds of amazing women- and you spend tons of time with them.. day in, and day out for an entire weekend. it might not sound like much, but it is. it is overwhelming. it is emotionally exhausting- but you don't want it to end. you want to spend more time with certain people. talk more. drink more. just hang out together more. because everything that you do, is just so damn enjoyable.
but now it's over. and everyone is gone. and i'm sitting here feeling something i can't quite explain. something i never expected i would feel. and i wonder if this is what it feels like when you're coming off a coke high, or something. this overwhelming feel good time that lasts 3 whole days and then all at once.. it's gone. it's like going from 100 to 0 in no time flat.
boyfriend doesn't understand it (which surprises me in itself). he wants my attention, but he can tell that i'm not quite all there yet mentally. and he's right. i'm not. my mind races with conversations and pictures and everything that happened. i can't get enough of other people's flickr pics. i can't stop reading people's blogs that i met there to hear their feelings on the weekend. it's like i'm consumed by it all. i want to drown myself in everyone's experiences and just share the good times over and over again. i feel like a crackwhore. and i'm wondering if i'm the only one?