you want to skip your massage at burke williams and head straight home so you can read everyone's posts and see everyone's pictures!! i really am a dork, but i'm totally okay with that- probably because it's fun to be me!
**warning- this might very well be the longest post ever in the history of jennsterland. but it will have pictures!!**
blogher was amazing! honestly! FUCKING.INCREDIBLE. my worry in the post about people not being fun- i couldn't have been more off base. i don't feel like an ass for thinking it, but i will freely admit that i was wrong. very, very wrong. when i expressed concern that i would be surrounded by people that i would never be friends with in real life? w.r.o.n.g. again. everyone was so fun. SO!FUN! and really, really nice. totally the type of women i would want to hang around with in real life. and now they're gone. someone (that sexy bitch- her bad mother said it) explained it best when she that "this is like being at the best summer camp ever and then having to go home." so true!
everyone that you blog with- all these women that you read.. they are simply amazing in real life. and how come no one tells you that they have gorgeous skin and even without a drop of makeup, they still look stunning? and that pictures do most of them absolutely no justice whatsoever when it comes to seeing in them in person? huh? girls with gorgeous skin- abound at blogher! consider yourself told! seriously, these women are truly beautiful inside and out. and did i mention, fun?!!!
on friday, i tortured myself by reading any and everything i could from the girls already at blogher while i was at work. it was painful. all i wanted to do was BE THERE already. when i finally arrived, everyone was good and drunk- just the way i like em! but it made my arrival that much more fun! i was super excited to see everyone, so it was really nice to have them be just as excited to see me!!!! at least they pretended to be excited. you know, with squeels and screams and hugs and air kisses and ass grabbing!! it might have been the alcohol talking, but i didn't care- i was taking advantages of these bitches! i don't think i've ever called so many people whores so quickly and often in my entire life. luckily, no one cried about it... at least not to my face.
izzy, kristin, elizabeth, liz, christina i adore these women!
her bad mother (please say this in a fake french- canadian accent for affect) i want to fly to canada and live on her front porch forever. and it's not just because she has great boobs. but really- i want this lady with me when i'm looking to have a good time cause she is blissfully funny, intelligent, and just so damn fun!!!!!!
firey poop lady- wendy (wendy boucher.. fire on the poop deck)!! hey firepoop- i was super sad to have missed you on sunday. i heart you. you are fabulous! and SO fun and i loved spending time with you!!!!! tell your daughter HI from ster!
liz, don't kill me for this picture- it cracks me up! wtf are you pointing at?!? doesn't matter, i adore you anyway! mom-101 is SO nice! so so very nice in like the politest way. and she is so cute and has the best smile!!! and fun, and smart, and pretty.. and such a nice person to be around!
cristina (mommy off the record). we'd been waiting for her to arrive all freaking weekend long! thank the goddess she finally got there or i never could have grabbed her boob like i did in this pic! she is awesome! super nice, super mellow and chill- and just a really nice chick! she let me fondle her and hump her leg. she totally loved it! or at least that's what i read on the bathroom wall later that night.
such a daring young mom and nello! both more beautiful and fun in person!
the super sweet elizabeth (party of five... no, i mean table for five). she made me a super cute bracelet! SMOOCHES! she is incredible nice and super friendly and like a social butterfly! one minute she's there, the next she's gone!!
now this bitch (lena of cheeky lotus) is one of those whores whose pictures do her NO justice at all. she is STUNNING in person- like, omg she is so beautiful. cant.stop.looking.at.her.
i am in love with this pregnant whore. LOVE HER! mega mom is hilarious! and gorgeous and i think she is quite possibly the sexiest pregnant woman i've ever seen in my life!!! she is a little prankster and it's FUN!!! i consider her my partner in crime. when the shit is going down, i want her at my side!
amalah. i posted these pics because it makes it look like she loves me and wants to marry me, instead of me scaring her and her husband, which is what i really did. by the last day of blogher, the bitch was putting huge purses between us to ensure that there was ample space to stop any hugging i might try to lay on her. she is SO beautiful in person. she has like PERFECT skin. and she's just pretty. and skinny. and so cute. and very, very nice (even when she's telling me to SHUT UP because i was being a shithead).
izzymom - i love her. like so, so much. dropping her off at the airport was awful. don't you like how her hair covers one eye like aaliyah's hair always did (you know, before she died. aaliyah, not izzy). izzy is one of the women who i wished lived closer. i want to hang with her. party with her. talk shit with her. everything! woman, you rock- in a serious way! SMOOCH!
crazy.drunk.whore. (joyunexpected) love her! she is so fun and funny and loves to party! just ask her about friday night and how she felt saturday morning. hey whore- did you even GO to the conference?! HAHHAHAA
little miss motherhood uncensored. so nice and beautiful! she takes gorgeous pictures and she has the best smile and she always looks perfect! she made the cutest freaking candy bars with her blog's label on them and she let me eat them all!!! okay, not really. she was really sweet and she tolerated me. that's all i can ask for really. :)
julie (from mothergoosemouse) is going to HATE me for this picture, but what.the.fuck. it cannot be possible that this is the ONLY picture i have with her?!?!?!! but it's all i can find! other people MUST have pics of her and i together?!??! she is my most favorite party toy. i want to bring her everywhere with me. she laughs at EVERYTHING i do. and i mean everything. i breath, she laughs. i make waitresses cry, she laughs. she makes me feel like I AM THE FUNNIEST GIRL IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD!!!!!!!! i heart her! she is great and wonderful!
awwww.. amy (piece of work). ask amy about friday night too- see if she even remembers it. ha! amy is great and i'm so happy i got to meet her! she smiles A LOT and i love that about her- among other things!!
jess (from drowning in kids) was very, very nice.. and fun and i liked hanging out with her. woman- did i even talk to you, or just molest you? i swear i'll still respect you in the morning. it was great to meet you!!!
mary tsao. *prrrs* so pretty! so fun! wish i would have talked to her more. or maybe actually said more than, "hi, you're leaving already? SUCKER!!" but she lives close, so i can stalk her whenever i want! HA!
SO- GM brought cars for us to test drive. big mistake. well at least when you get 3 hot pieces of ass in a convertible together, it is. or maybe it's just when i'm driving? we squeeled out of the parking lot. i am not kidding. like burned rubber. like that "ERRRRRRR" sound. if that isn't totally high school, i don't know what is. miss cool girl squeeling her tires out of the hyatt parking lot. oh yeah, that's sexy! izzy thought i did it on purpose. i think my cool factor went down when i told her i didn't. this convertible saab kicked ass though! it wouldn't be right to not talk about it. that thing drives like it's on air. it glides. and holy shit- the turbo kicks in and you FLY! we were going way too fast, but it felt too good to stop. (stop reading into that perverts). honestly though- i looked down and we were going 65 and we were in second gear!! it drives SO SO SO nice!!! i really wanted to slow down, but it handled so well and flew so well and well.. this is us. with convertible hair. you can't tell, huh? I LOVE THESE GIRLS!!! more than i loved the car!! ps- the car's radio sucked ass. for a car that hot, you need a sound system that matches. it didn't. i did love that all the radio preset's were set to LA stations, to which izzy asked, "do they come in up here?"... ummmm, no.
izzy and myself at a stop light (mega mom is in the back.. way to go, we put the pregnant girl in the back seat). rocking out to tupac.. teasing the boys in the truck next to us. HAHAHAHAHA
hot girls with BIG meat! the burgers people..
it must be said, that i haven't gotten to put yesterday's pictures on flickr yet. i don't pay for an account so i'm at my limit! but tomorrow is august so you will be able to witness izzy's fanny pack on tour then! and i'll probably post about it too! don't forget to tag your photos with blogher 06 everyone! i want to see your pics!
blogher was an experience i won't soon forget. it was awesome. it was like seeing old friends you haven't seen since college. i am still affected. i'm sad it's over. but i'm so happy that i got to meet everyone i did get to meet. y'all are a kick ass group of diverse and amazing women! thank you, every single one of you, for making my weekend SO FUN and full of so much laughter and sweetness and food! I MISS YOU ALL ALREADY!!!!!! so incredibly much!!!