Friday, June 09, 2006

things that suck- you know, like blogger

blogger sucking ass lately has definitely put a crimp in blogland. what the fuck. seriously. this many days of fucked-upness is ridiculous. and i love all of you so much, that i could read all your posts in bloglines, but i couldn't comment, or even GET to your blog page in real time. argh. i know y'all share in my frustrations. i feel all out of sorts. and seriously, what the hell happened at google that was THIS dramatic to have things be screwed up for THIS long?!! get it together people. seriously. we all depend on this blog stuff.

in actual exciting news for me- i got my very first AD last night! someone actually wants to pay me to put their ad on this site! well holy hell! i wanted to do a little dance when i saw that in my email box!! anyways, it's a shopping with moms site, and it looks really cute and fun! i fully intend to explore it to the max later today and you should too! YAY!

i have a new renter! she is really honest and talks openly about her use of medication to help keep her bitchiness at bay. or at least at a level that makes her husband not want to kill her! she was new to me, so she might be new to you too! go give her a click and a visit!

omfg (that stands for oh.my.fucking.gawd.).. i have a little yoda snow globe here at work and i went to grab it and it fell and it broke! but it broke all over my pants and my ball! so now my big green ball that i sit on- (yes everyone, like this- y'all have been so fascinated about my ball).. is all wet.. not to mention my shirt, and my pants. and i think i popped my ball. yep, it's popped. dammit.
so not only am i wet, I AM NOW COMPLETELY COVERED IN GLITTER!!!!!! that fucking little snowglobe was full of it! green and gold glitter!
so now i have a sparkley crotch, and i feel like i should be getting paid. anyone have any dollar bills?

37 comments:

Dustin said...

would I be out of line to request proof of the sparkly crotch?

lol

sdkafglasdkj

thanks for the laugh my friend...long overdue....

DD said...

You didn't quite explain HOW the globe got broke. Maybe it had something to do with the ball and the crotch prior to the incident?

Mel said...

Fuck, man... wet balls and glittery crotches... you might be getting a little too racy for my delicate feminine heart to handle...
(Fans self)
Oh, mah... goodness...
;)
LMAO!!! You ballbuster, you!

Tara said...

hahaha! That sucks Jenn! Reminds me of this one time at band camp....kidding..but really once I went to shake some salad dressing, and the lid wasnt on..I got salad dressing all over an ENTIRE roast beef dinner. The salad, the corn, the beef, everything> not to mention all down my back. It was great. :-|

DD said...

...so you say you were "grabbing the globe"? Is that some kind of euphemism?

And no, you cannot re-edit your blog again.

Mike said...

My wife Jenn has one of those ball things at home. BTW, I think you were at a strip joint and are just trying to cover yourself by saying that Yoda boke and put sparkles all over you!!

Angry Dad said...

My sentiments exactly about Blogger. It sucked when I was travelling to find sitting in an airline lounge I couldn't post!
I loved the Yoda story. Man, a wet T-shirt competition and a glittering crutch, every mans fantasy! LOL

Kel said...

WOOHOO! Sparkly crotch....


Where are the party favors and the stripper pole? Cause we all know you can't have a sparkly crotch without a decent stripper pole.

Melissa said...

Oh shit, imagine the google hits you will get off of "Glittery crotch".

Too funny. I thought those balls couldn't break. I know my mom has had the same one for ages. My kids love to play on it.

Virginia Belle said...

Dear Glitter Twat--

i intentionally didn't bitch about blogger today because i knew you would do it for me. i couldn't have said it better myself, ster! i have been raging and bitching for two days.

it's getting scary--i can predict your actions now! we know each other too well.

oh, and i never read the proposal story because i couldn't get into your little website. help?

i posted 3 times today. don't miss 'em.

Kevin Charnas said...

LMAO!!! You shithead...you know that you downed like 3 bottles of Goldschlager last night and you just happen to piss gold flakes all over yourself and you're going to go and blame it on poor Yoda and his Christmas world. That is SO like you.

Kristin said...

listen, jenn, no matter how tight money is becoming, i don't think stripping is the right way to beef up the wedding account...

glitter is really hard to get totally off your clothes.

Alison said...

I can't believe you're blogging about balls and crotches. What's next?

Painter Beach Girl said...

OH LORDY I am rolling ont he floor laughing....we are a big snowglobe family and whenver we get a snowglobe that has something strange other than just plain white snow (which is annoying too if it breaks) I second guess the purchase for that very reason. You're hilarious! Sad about yoda though.

Jennifer said...

Good grief you've had quite a day, missy. Seriously, were you really just reaching for the globe when it broke, or had you mistaken the globe for the actual ball you sit on? Just kidding. Your posts always make me shake my head and laugh my ass off, or is it shake my ass and laugh my head off??

Anyway, happy Friday Ms. Yoda-Ball-Breaker!

coffeygirlb said...

Yeah, whats been up with blogger? I havent been able to comment on like half of my blogs. Seems to be fixed though!

penguininthesun said...

yoda snow globes....

Jodi said...

Yeah, why oh why would somebody make a Yoda snowglobe? And why would somebody want to OWN a Yoda snowglobe? And why oh why do you sit on a bALL at work? And why is Blogger being such a pain in the butt? HMMMMM? Why?!?!?!

Elizabeth said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

HAHAHAHA!!!

*SNORT*

You rock, Jenn.

Mommy off the Record said...

You said "sparkly crotch" cuz you wanted more weird google hits...come on, fess up. :)

melissa said...

Sparkly crotches? Excellent.

As for Blogger, I highly suggest jumping ship for Wordpress. It's a thousand times better.

sweatpantsmom said...

Balancing on balls. Evil Yoda snowglobes. Sparkly crotches.

I see a sitcom in the making.

Lisa said...

Sparkly crotch is way better than having a firecrotch. heehee.

gray_brandi said...

OH..my husband would love you!! I'll have to steal your idea ..HA!!!

Her Bad Mother said...

Ah, the sparkly crotch. Some of us work for that look, you know.

Shannon said...

Hi Jennster. I've been lurking on your blog for awhile, just wanted to say thanks for renting my blog at BE. I'll post an intro for you later today.

Oh, and if you find a replacement Yoda globe? Point me in the direction - I'd love one of those.

Jess said...

Yoda snow globe: $20
Green ball: $20
Sparkly crotch: PRICELESS!

HAHAHA just guessing with prices, other than the last one. Now I want a sparkly crotch. It's not fair, you get all the fun!

Rude Cactus said...

Is it bad luck if you break a piece of starwars related merchandise? Like, you know, if you break a mirror? Or have you merely set the force once held within the globe free? Either way? Glittery crotch? That can't be good.

Izzy said...

Woooohoooo! Over here!

*waving $20 bill*

mollymcmommy said...

pooped or popped there is a difference! LMAO! i was one of those fascinated by the ball, the ball from target, the green ball. love the ball.

oh jenn, you are so funny, you just crack me up! :)

m

Jenny said...

So your yoda globe randomly exploded, shotting glitter on your crotch and popped your big green balloon chair.

Well, we've all been there, haven't we? :)

Christina_the_wench said...

So glitter for your crotch and a new ball are on your xmas list this year? Makes for interesting shopping...

jen said...

.......ah, some girls were just born with glitter in their veins!
i changed my url.

denise said...

Okay I have to totally geek out here and say...so sad about the yoda. But his death was hilarious.

Lotta said...

Awww..just pretend you did it on purpose when husband/man/partner sees it.

At least the "wet crotch" came from an outside source. I thought my days of post pregnancy (baby is 1) incontinence were over. Not so my friend. Not so.

DUNN said...

Hey Dormie...I've got $3 in my pocket, and you've got me so worked up I think I'm gonna take it down to the local tittie bar and by myself a little hug :)

tray said...

hey sparkly crotchSTER! lmfao! you're silly! did you get another ball?

and dustin is CUTE! hahaha
but I'm mawwwied now....