some of you may not know this, but we don't have blake every other weekend. every other weekend, he is with his dad. and i'd be totally lying if i said i didn't enjoy my free time. those weekends that blake is gone, boyfriend and i get to go out at night... we go dancing.. we go to bars.. we party with our friends.. we go out to a quiet dinner with no interruptions.. to a late movie.. anything we want to do.. and we don't have to come home early. hell, we don't have to come home at all. and i enjoy it. i really do. does this make me a bad mom? fuck that. it makes me a balanced mom. it makes me a balanced person. i have no problem balancing the life of being a mom, a girlfriend, and just me. i know nothing else but this. i've always had my free time every other weekend.. practically since blake was born (with a few exceptions).
i think boyfriend and i are lucky. i truly do. since neither one of us knows what it's like to date eachother without the presence of a child there, these weekend breaks are the only time we get to act like a childless couple (well, as childless as you can be physically.. you're never really childless mentally). and it's these weekends that we get to just hang out and not worry about entertaining a 7 year old. we get to just be... us. and i know how lucky we are for this. i realize that most couples don't get breaks like that. at least, not consistantly, without feeling guilty, or going broke paying for a sitter. so i really do soak it all in. and i enjoy it as much as i can because i know that one day............... this will all change.
because one day, boyfriend and i will have a child of our own. and i don't think i'll be able to convince blake's dad to take them both every other weekend. so it looks like we'll have some major adjusting to do. and it freaks me out a little. okay, it freaks me out a lot. because there are no more built in breaks. no more effortless date nights. no more hassle free weekends. and i wonder, just how the hell do you all you couples do it? do you set aside date nights? once a week? once a month? do you start to feel like a mom and nothing else? cause i don't ever want to feel like that. so how do you balance being not only a mom, but being a sexy woman for your man? or do you not? and if you don't, have things changed.. suffered.. been the same? i'm just planning ahead here people, help me out. :)