Monday, April 24, 2006

you asked, i answered

alright folks- you asked, and i'm attempting to answer. grandpa, there are so many parts in here that you should skip, i don't even know where to begin. good luck.

amy asks why i'm marrying a right winger?
obviously my brain doesn't function like a normal person's brain would, or i wouldn't be choosing this. or maybe we just enjoy completely wiping eachother's votes out at the ballot box. or we enjoy arguing about certain issues that we don't see eye to eye on. or maybe it's because i just don't really give a shit. HA! i am not really involved in politics to the point that it rules my life. to me, that's such a waste of energy that could be used doing something else. like designing my website or trying on new lipstick. i just accept the fact that him and i are different people and don't necessarily agree on certain things. it does get frustrating at times with certain issues, but that's when i whine, complain and insist we stop talking about it immediately because it isn't something that is "fixable." his brain is just broken and i fully accept that about him. plus, it's probably way more frustrating for him than it is for me, because he is far more involved in all things political than i am.

russ wants to know if i really have a wiener addiction?
oscar meyer? boyfriend? corn dog? could you be more specific? ooh, hot dog on a stick sounds good!!! yum!
also, if you travel to the deepest parts of the ocean, what one song would you want with you?
would it really matter? won't my head explode if i go down too far?
bottled or tap water?
dude. without a doubt. bottled. all the way. i cannot drink tap water, it's nasty. especially tap water in la... that shit'll kill you. but i'm all for the BRITA water filter.. couldn't use that in LA though, cause even with brita, the water was beyond foul. but up here in nor cal, the brita thing works.

jenn wants to know what the craziest thing i ever did was:
i hate these questions, but only because i can never think of a craziest thing. or a most insane thing. or a "most" anything. maybe i'm just more boring than y'all realize. or maybe everything i do has a hint of crazy and i can't just pick one. or maybe i can't remember anything anymore since i'm this old. ps- are crazy and stupid the same thing? okay.. melissa (i used to work with her- she posts as melissam) reminded me that i used to randomly flash people at work. (clarification- not the whole show, i'd just lift up my shirt and you could see my bra, big whoop, i have no boobs).. well one time i was trying to make one of the guys laugh. he was in a meeting with a bunch of the bosses and i think it's hilarious to make them start laughing during a time like that, or blush, or react... so i flashed him really quickly only to have the boss see me. she was like, "WHAT WAS THAT? DID YOU JUST??" yeah, i did. what'cha gonna do about it?

also, another crazy moment that i don't even know how to explain right because it's kind of all a blur in my head was when i was in the mel's diner parking lot in hollywood, fighting with leonardo dicaprio. he was yelling at me and i was yelling at him. and he was fiesty, and i was fiesty-er. and all i kept thinking while he was being a bratface to me was, "jack dawson is yelling at me right now." and i just wanted to laugh. i can't remember why we were yelling- it had something to do with one of my friends hooking up with one of his friends and blah blah whatever. they were on the phone with eachother and leo's crew followed us to the diner, but leo was all pissy about it and i think i gave him attitude, which made him sassy and that made me sassier and the "yelling" ensued. so yeah. bring it on leo.

melissa (the question whore) wants to know the following-
who is my favorite blogger and why?

in complete and utter honesty, i do not have a favorite. there isn't 1 blogger that stands out to me above the rest. i think part of that has to do with the fact that i recently started blogging, and found this core group of other bloggers (who i like to call my "hot pieces of ass blogging crew" they just don't know they're part of this crew since it only exists in my mind) and we've all just grown together and blogged together. i feel like we all started blogging around the same time (which may, or may not be true at all). i don't really like the bloggers who are super popular because i don't find their blogs all that entertaining, or relatable. i find myself wondering half the time, who the hell reads their blogs everyday and why? this doesn't go for all the popular bloggers, but most of them. you know what amazes me though? how many downright funny and witty people there are blogging in this world. it's crazy that so many talented people exist in this realm. and i seem to find more every single day, but i'm going to tell you whose blogs i read daily (at this very moment) and why:

Angry Dad- i just found angry dad's blog and the title of his blog alone cracked me up for minutes before i even started reading it. it's cool to have a dad blogging (i know there are many more out there) talking about his kid not sleeping, or the latest trip his family went on. i don't know, things are just different from a dad's perspective and especially an ANGRY one! HA!

Becky's Blog!!!! - i know becky from my message board, so reading her blog is like reading one of my close friend's blog. i love her and she makes me laugh and she's so gullible and sweet i just want to wrap her up and take her home.

Cannonballers - i read mike's because if i don't, i think his wife would kill me. plus i think it's really fun when a blogger's hubby starts blogging. it makes me laugh and then i get to relate to the couple, instead of just half the couple. that way i can stalk them better.

Eva Las Vegas - i recently found kristin- lord knows how- but i love her. her blog is sassy and honest and unapologetic for who she is or what she thinks. and i love that about her. and she has really cute kids and is super hot herself! rahr!

From the files of "Nothing Can Ever Be Easy" - tony is going to be a daddy everyone. and the best part of his blog is that it makes me laugh and i can't fucking wait until allie (his gf- who moved to texas from LA) has their baby. his blog is so going to change from "i can't wait to get hammered after finals tonight" to something else completely and that transformation is going to be awesome to watch. i should start reading allie's blog, cause she has one too.

Ginger Incognito- i read her blog because she has hysterical one liners. out of nowhere, you're just cruising along and reading her blog when she says something that just makes you spit water all over your computer. she has one of the wretched comment verification things, but i luff her anyways.

Intellectual Dropout- rick is just whacked. he's odd and funny and odd. i think it's because he's from the UK- ha! he posts disturbing pictures of the easter bunny dead on the street and that makes me laugh. and he reads this blog daily, and you've gotta love a perfect stranger who wants to do that!

Issa's World - she's really pissy about her blog design and is determined to make it more fabulous, but all that aside, melissa is just a normal (in some countries) chick blogging about life. it's just honest and real, and of course, funny. and the bitch eats ben & jerry's for lunch, hates that i drink chai tea, and called me ancient in an email. what's not to love?

On the Banks of the Rio Grande- i just started reading catherine's blog so she's still fairly new to me. but i'll tell you that she is FUNNY and witty and obviously insane (she has 4 kids). did i mention she's funny? cause she is. like, REALLY funny.

Maniacal Days - jenn's blog is nice. and by nice, i mean, she isn't a bitch. she isn't mean. she's just a downright nice person who makes me laugh and thinks she's boring and has nothing funny to say, but if that were true, i wouldn't read her blog. or her husband's. or link to her for cripes sake!

Midwestern Mommy - she is certain her new neighbors hate her and that her son is trying to force into becoming a morning person. she is honest about her marriage and admits faults and doesn't pretend to be perfect. plus, she makes me laugh and she's super hot.

Mom-101 - funny.fucking.bitch.

Mommy Needs a Martini -jen makes me laugh with her random shit that she posts. "hi, they keep me around at work because i'm a freak and here's why." she cusses and goddess knows i love a mom who swears. her blog is fun and her posts usually aren't long and drawn out and boring (you know, like this particular blog post is).

My life as a mommy - beth is a stay at home mom who is pregnant right now and due in 13 weeks! SO exciting!! i look forward to hearing about how her life changes from having 1 kid, to having 2. that way i can freak out appropriately for when it's my turn!

penguininthesun - cutie patootie who lives in san diego and isn't married and doesn't have kids. finds the goofiest shit with penguins on them and she likes to hit the club scene and check out bands. she writes about a bunch of random shit, but i dig it.

pickleness - STEPHANIE is one of my most favorite bloggers. i just enjoy the shit out of her. she makes me laugh. she makes me wince. she talks about poop and how important it is to date your husband now that you're both parents. most likely not in the same blog post. she is awesome and honest and SO FREAKING FUNNY!!!! i don't think she knows how entertaining and awesome she is, but that's what makes her even more damn loveable.

POW - she regularly posts about the weather in LA, and how she moved there because it's so god dammed perfect and i have decided that i read her blog daily to cry and torture myself... and of course to see the pictures she posts about said perfect weather and curse her in my sleep.

R A D H O L E - what can i say about russ? i know him from my message board too and he is the most unique individual i have ever known. there is no one else like russ dale. read his blog. you'll agree. 4 out of 5 people do.

Starlight Afterglow - emily is my new very best friend forever. she helped me redesign my website and she is just fabulous. she's getting married soon to a super hottie named james and she's fun, creative, and super cute!

Suburban Bliss: - one of the very few "popular" blogs i read and actually like. i like her because she makes fun of her husband's girly sunglasses and because she is honest about things that suck.

sweatpantsmom - she is funny, and weird, and likes meat in a serious way. johnny depp creeps her out and that makes me laugh. i think one of the first posts i read in her blog was about the fish dying. and the picture she put with it. and it was sad, but so fucking funny. she's great!

VenturaMom - i am certain she doesn't know i exist, but that won't stop me from reading her blog! she is FUNNY and her husband loves baseball and she's from so cal. my heart is hers.

Virginia Belle - i love this girl. i love that she isn't married. and doesn't have kids. i have this thing with not having every fucking blog i read be the same kind of person. virgina's comments in my blog, and other people's blogs crack me up more than her blog itself. (that really is a compliment) she is funny and witty and entertaining. and she just got a puppy, which makes me insanely jealous, but i can see past all that and still give her the love she deserves.

what is blake's middle name and how did i choose the name blake?
blake's middle name is joseph. no bj jokes people, thanks. here is the super "we should market this idea and make millions" way blake's dad and i chose blake's name. we each made a list of boy names we liked. we compared said list on the phone one night. we both had blake on our list. brilliance i tell you.

why the hell did i move from la to frigid san francisco?
well we've already established that my brain does not function properly. maybe it was sparkle shock from the diamond ring he put on my finger? bottom line, i moved because we got engaged. boyfriend lived in northern cali and i was in southern cali the whole time we were dating. one of us had to move eventually- i just never really realized that it would be me.

stephanie wants to know how often i floss?
omg, i seriously floss daily. i am obsessed with teeth. i am obsessed with white teeth! and i think i floss so often because i always get a piece of food stuck in the same spot everynight after dinner (ew!). so while i'm flossing to get that shit out, i just floss the rest! plus, it's SO good for your gums! and i want to always have lovely, sparkley, nice teeth and gums! and i'm psycho.

and when i have been most embarassed and why?
most embarassed? this is hard too because i rarely get embarassed. i normally just don't give a shit about things. but omg, boyfriend and i just saw mark wahlberg on some interview show the other night and it totally reminded me of the perfect embarassing story i could post here! FUN! when i was 19 i worked for a radio station in LA doing promotions. we were having an event with Marky Mark one night and we were taking him to meet fans and perform a couple songs, etc. so the group of us (mark's entourage and the radio station crew) got on the radio station bus to drive to the music store. as i was getting on, i flipped my hair to get it off my shoulders, when suddenly i heard this awful noise (think of a cat dying) and my head went flying backwards like someone had just grabbed me by the hair and yanked as hard as they could. i went to turn around but couldn't. i had tossed my freaking hair into the fan that was on the bus. like a mechanical, blowing air, fan. and there i was, yanked so close to it, my hair completely wrapped around it, and marky mark staring at me like "wtf just happened??" they eventually untangled my hair, and i sat down behind mark, mortified. it's so fun being me sometimes.

jen (who is obviously on crack) asked me where the strangest/sexiest place i've ever had sex was?
if i answer this, people i know will never sit or touch anything in our house again.

cajohnson wants to know what i hope to learn at the blogher conference of 06?
not much i hope. i'm just going to look hot, take pictures and lounge by the pool. okay really, the biggest part for me is going to meet fellow bloggers and make new friends in the blog world. if i actually leave the conference with information that i can use, that will be a bonus.

angry dad asked what my favorite roller coaster is?
i love love love love love rockin' roller coaster at MGM studios in walt disney world! it starts off super fast and shoots you through a loop in the dark and the whole ride takes place in LA on the 405 (and maybe the 10) freeway while you're trying to get to an aerosmith concert. it plays music in your ears and it's just SUPER fun! i love everything about it!

susan says: why that font? in your blog? are you trying to make me go blind?
yes susan. that is part of my master plan. to make all my blog readers eventually lose their eyesight. seeing things is so overrated. what the fuck are you even talking about? why can't you read it? does anyone else have this problem, or is susan just a fucktard?

kristin wants to know how boyfriend and i met!
i have a message board that i've run for over 5 years now. a bunch of guys who offroad their toyota tacoma trucks post in there. he was one of them. we posted to eachother for over a year.. he totally wanted me, and i thought he was a gun toting, right winged, freak. a bunch of the toyota boys were going offroading in big bear and i was going too- i met him in person then. and i almost shit myself with how fucking hot he was. he was super yummy and there was an undeniable connection between us. i felt things for him that day that i can't explain with words. at least not without sounding like a babbling 2 year old. there were complications though. like the fact that i was "dating" (if you can call it that) someone else at the time. i was really struggling with doing the right thing in that relationship before getting into something else. it was a very mental battle of doing the right thing for the wrong reasons. in the end, i am where i'm supposed to be...and with whom. and i always knew that i'd end up here, i just wasn't sure exactly how.

virginia belle is asking a shitload of questions, like:
which celebrity would you most like to have lunch with?

this is tough. i grew up in LA, woman! i've worked in radio and in the entertainment industry almost my whole life, and i've had lunch with celebrities. there really isn't anyone who piques my interest that much that i would care to eat with. unless they're buying and we're going somewhere super yummy. then i'll eat with anyone.

sex with?
ew. none. there are definitely hot actors/musicians.. but then they speak. and when they do that, they usually end up grossing me out, turning me off, or pissing me off. and i'm totally not the type to do the "you're hot, let's fuck" thing. i was always more the "you're hot, kiss me.. and kiss me good" type. ps- once they speak and repulse me, they aren't hot anymore either.

work with?
oooh, i'd like to work with lots of celebrities. i like being in the entertainment industry and doing things with celebrities. i totally think it's fun (when they don't suck). but then you talk about work, and i think "do i have to be their slave?" or what kind of work are we talking about? how about they do their job, i sit and stare and tell them how great they are, and get paid for it? i would totally love to be involved in the recording industry. you know, sit in the studio while bands/groups/artists record their albums. i love music and i think that would be the shit. or i'd love to work in publicity for the dodgers!!!! HOW FUN WOULD THAT BE?

how did you find my blog in blogland?
i have NO idea how i found sam's blog, but that is how i found yours. a comment you left in her blog cracked me up so much, i went to your blog from there and just kept visiting. i heart you!

and finally, how did boyfriend propose?
i blogged a little about it before here and then more of my pyschosis here. why am i attempting to type this when i could just link you to a post that i wrote about it the day after it happened??? read my version of the day here. and you can read boyfriend's version of the day, here (and then scroll to post #3 for the real recap). just click guest to enter the forum and it will take you directly to the posts i want you to read. it's just too long to write about and relive without throwing up. it will be 1 year of being engaged on May 21st and we'll be in new york and that alone is super fun! (mike, did jenn tell you she wants to see us?)

good lord. if any of you read this whole entire fucking long ass post, go eat a cookie (or 12). you deserve it. i may never blog again after this thing.


Beth said...

Aw! thanks for the shout out! Love ya!
Oh, and I babysat two nephews today, and I don't know why people have 3 kids. I died. I probably will have 3, but GAWD! it sucked! lol. It should be interesting with two! yipes!

russ said...


texas math said...

I think you called my blog funny...or that I'm funny..or something that associates my blog with the word "funny"...anyway you are right about the big change thats going to come my way...and how I will completely FREAK OUT...within reason though...thanks for continuing to read my blog!

Becky said...

i love this post! YAY. and i'm glad you wanna wrap me up and take me home:) MUAH!

Melissa said...

I love that you did this. SO freaking cool. And I love that I asked questions that mad you post long ass answers. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Girl you crack me up.

But just for everyone else to know, so you guys don't think I'm mean. I only called the girl ancient, cause she called me a baby.

Piece of Work said...

NOw that was one long ass post! I loved it, and thanks for the plug. One more question? Are you staying in NorCal forever or are there plans to move back?

oh, and you must share some more celebrity stories!

Mike said...

Sure..........only read my blog because you think my wife will beat you up. Make me feel REAL WANTED!! THANKS!


texas math said...

also...I choose to believe that my blog is listed 4th not because you did so in alphabetical order (mostly) but rather because you consider my blog the 4th best that you read which is good enough for me considering you haven't been a reader of my blog for very long....

Susan said...

well now the font is back to normal...

so apparently I am a giant fucktard...

who knew?

MrsFortune said...

Dude, corndogs? The BEST... mmmm ...

And I love your list of links. Some new stuff I'll have to check out, and that's such an accurate impression of Mom-101.

texas math said...

One last thing--I finally linked you (that was a dirty trick..putting three n's in "jennnster" took me forever to figure that one out)

jen said...

Laughing laughing laughing...but only cuz I just did some more crack! ;)

Melissa said...

Oh yeah, Emily is my newest bestest friend, so I don't think she can be yours too. ;)

penguininthesun said...

I was going to ask a Q but the one I thought of has been answered already. I think you're awesome, Jenns! :)

Mom101 said...

Thanks bitch...right back atcha. Funny stuff. Look forward to reading the other blogs on your list (eh, what's ten or twenty more when it comes down to it, right?)

Kristin said...

Hey! The tears! The yelling into the next room, "I'm a fav. blog... come see!) The thanks! Oh, the LOVE!!! & also, yea for new reads!

I am about to go lurk in your archives for the proposal...

Also (more) message board? I don't know this message board of which you speak... must link there as well.

You have a great energy Jen and it totally comes through in your blog... let me know if you are ever in OC... I'll take you out for wine & whine!

Holly said...

Well, hell, you moved to the frigid north for a right winger? Good Gawd, you must love him.

Where to begin? Can I just start off by saying I read several posts back (to the Easter Egg post) and love your writing? You remind me a lot of Amy at POW, which makes sense since you both spend(spent) time in LA.

Anyway, good stuff, I'll be back for sure. Not sure how you found me, maybe in comments at POW, but I'm glad you did.

My posts have been long and boring lately, but I think I may be coming out of that funk.

Oh! And you design your own blog skin? I really like it. I am in the market for a new look myself, my old one is bugging me.

Anyway. Again, groovy stuff.

Reese Mars said...

Thanks for including me... Good luck in everything.

point45 said...

agreeing to marry a psychotic gun packing right wing psychopath (that is listening to al green) is the best disision you have ever made:)

Izzy said...

Holy shit! That's one HELL of a post.

I'm gonna go eat my 12 cookies right after I blogroll your ass!

Catherine said...

Lots of blogs make me laugh INSIDE. Yours?? Dude, your Marky Mark story made me wake up the baby I was laughing so hard! Aahh, but it felt good.

And, hey, thanks so much for the mention! To think I almost went to bed without stopping by here for a visit. You are so great, woman! :)

Lisa said...

Holy crap that was a long post. ANd Yeay. I'm with Becky. I so want to wrap you up and take you home. You would be a total trip!

So that's what you think about me and muh blog, eh? heehee. Had to laugh. THanks chickie.

And yes, I'm with you. I've stopped reading a few of the "popular" blogs because they were... meh... Stephanie just did a post about this... So wierd that you'd mention...

Lisa said...

Oh and I really like that I'm one of your "hot pieces of ass." I haven't been called THAT in years. heehee.

Yorksdevil said...

Thanks for the kind words. I like that I got 2 'odds'. Now I know you read every day (I thought you might just come along every so often) I feel pressured to find something interesting to say. A key difference between your blog and mine (besides you having reader numbers in double figures!) is my long posts are always dull, serious things, whereas yours are still funny.

Angry Dad said...

Jenn you are an absolute legend. I have no idea how you stumbled on my blog, but I'm glad you did. The Marky Mark story just cracked me up and I spent 10 minutes pissin' myself laughing after reading it! (My Bro and Sis were in LA in Entertainment, and I've heard similar stories!!)
Thanks also for the blog reference. I'm glad you enjoy it!
Ciao for Now, Angry Dad aka Whiz.

Stephanie A. said...

Thanks for the incredibly sweet comments about picklness. You're honestly the best, Jenn.

OK, how funny that some random guy from the commute not only noticed your ring, but had the guts to come up and mention it to you. Oh, how I miss public transportation!

Mike said... about some pics of the flashing thing! I mean, I read your blog while I'm at work, so I should get a show too!!

VenturaMom said...

You dork! Of course I know you're alive. You're always the first to post. As you said, a dog wagging her tail. Silly little doggie. And the fact that you cuss more than me makes you my friend forever! ;-0

ginger incognito said...

I just want to apologize for the keyboard I may have virtually ruined. Maybe you shouldn't keep the water bottle so close to the computer. I'm just saying.

Thanks for the super-sweet words! And you know I couldn't wait for this post. So many questions answered!

ginger incognito said...

Oh, and just for you: I'm removing the word-verfication. Feel the love.

coffeygirlb said...

Hey man, i'm a "right-winger" not all conservatives are red-necks you know!

trackthedeleter said...

Nice blog. I don't have a blog..I have a blod. I don't have anything to say though... cause It would just be babble unless I shared my real thoughts and feelings...which would never happen because there is no way I could delete them when I decided I didn't want to share my private thoughts because it was too embarassing.

Domestic Chicky said...

Hey Jennn! I followed you here from are too funny! We just met and I miss you from down here already! (I live in the foothills below big bear) Can't wait to visit all of your hot piece of ass friends! I nearly woke my boys up, I was laughing so hard. Try to enjoy SF-There's some amazing stuff to do and see up there-

-from a fellow work flasher (hee)

Virginia Belle said...

1. i am totally jealous that you have met marky mark. i have been lusting after him since 1991. i hate you.

2. that story was hysterical, btw. people were staring at me while i laughed my butt off.

3. thanks for all the compliments.

4. sorry about all the questions.

5. now you know, don't ask me to ask questions.

6. sorry it took me so long to read this post. i suck.

7. dont' have time to read proposal story. will do it later PROMISE.

8. you made a good observation about my comments being funnier than my blog. some people bring out the funny in me. sam is one of them. but i'll try to make my posts funnier. usually i have to be pissed off for that to happen and i'm usually really happy.

9. i am so stoked because now i have a whole list of new blogs to read.

10. when i get time.

11. just one more question--what exactly makes a blog "popular"? i'm not familiar with this popularity contest or list of hot bloggers. i feel left out of the loop.'s high school all over again....

12. your boyf and i probably vote the same way. but so does everyone in SC. i think the last democrat here died in 1985. yes, we are all stupid freaks here. but you can't stay away from our beaches, now can you??? ha ha ha

13. i could totally eat 12 cookies.

14. the whole "she's addicted to my weiner" episode is totally something Repo would say. i think our boyfs were separated at birth and you got the smart one.

15. your psychic abilities really impress me. i AM a hot piece of ass! how did you know?? oh yeah. you're psychic.

16. can i just say that you are one of the few bloggers i "know" who i'd really like to meet FOR REAL in person. i mean this in the most non-stalkerish/SWF kind of way. you just seem cool.

17. you have reminded me to post my most embarrassing moment ever. it's a great story.

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