some of you might not know that there is a huge (harhar) weight debate going on in blogland right now. i read my first post in regards to the whole thing here in which suburban bliss talked about her own struggles with weight and how it's affected her marriage and her mindset, etc. her post stemmed from something she read here where mim was basically talking about how if a man marries his wife when she weighs 120 pounds, he has a right to be naturally upset if she weighs 160 pounds over time. apparently, all of this has gotten out of hand and blogland is in an uproar! okay not really, but making it sound uber dramatic gives it an edge, eh? i'm following suburban bliss' lead and linking to a blogger who has a nice and pretty organized list of people discussing the topic. so while we're on this topic, because who doesn't this hit home with.. let's discuss, shall we?
i've never been overweight. wait, scratch that cause that's not entirely true. i've never been extremely overweight.. just like i've never been extremely thin. my body is not built that way, and i don't care. i have no desire to be stick thin or super skinny or any of it. i've always been pretty normal, with an extra dab of thickness in my thighs and ass. sometimes i feel like someone played a cruel joke before i was born and put me together like a bunch of random mr. potato head parts (we'll give her a super thin waist.. a huge ghetto booty, and small boobs- voila!). the real battle with my weight only began once i had blake (ooh, big surprise). i suddenly found myself about 40 pounds heavier than normal and not liking it one bit. over time most of it has gradually come off. and lord knows it wasn't from excercise or breastfeeding (i stopped bf'ing once i went back to work- about 7 weeks after blake was born). currently, i'm not even 10 pounds heavier than normal, but still- those 10 pounds piss me off. i mean, i hate even complaining about 10 pounds when i know so many other people out there have far more to lose, but those 10 pounds make a difference on me, and in me. you might think, oh wow, 10 pounds- big deal. but those are my unwanted 10 pounds. not to mention the fact that they are dispersed in completely different places than they ever were before i had a kid. but those 10 pounds are like this HUGE war of the worlds battle to make go away. i feel like i have to literally starve myself to make a bit of difference. and i don't want to do that. i don't want to live like that. i want to eat the things i want to eat. i want to not workout if i don't want to workout dammit. i just want to live my life not worrying about how many carbs i ate that day, or if i had one to many mini twix's (ooh, mini twix). i realize that i either have to just mentally accept that this is what my body looks like now, or shut the fuck up about it and do something. but sometimes i think i'd just rather complain and still change nothing about how i eat, or what i do. i feel like i'll never accept that for some reason my ass wants to qualify to have its own zip code. but i also don't want to starve myself to make it smaller. i.like.eating. i like eating carbs. i like eating junk food. and that's the way it is. and i guess if that's how i want to live, then this is how i'll look. why can't i just accept that and just like what i see in the mirror and be fine with it??
why is weight such a fucking woman issue? you don't see guys bitching and whining about this stuff.