Thursday, March 23, 2006

the weight debate

some of you might not know that there is a huge (harhar) weight debate going on in blogland right now. i read my first post in regards to the whole thing here in which suburban bliss talked about her own struggles with weight and how it's affected her marriage and her mindset, etc. her post stemmed from something she read here where mim was basically talking about how if a man marries his wife when she weighs 120 pounds, he has a right to be naturally upset if she weighs 160 pounds over time. apparently, all of this has gotten out of hand and blogland is in an uproar! okay not really, but making it sound uber dramatic gives it an edge, eh? i'm following suburban bliss' lead and linking to a blogger who has a nice and pretty organized list of people discussing the topic. so while we're on this topic, because who doesn't this hit home with.. let's discuss, shall we?

i've never been overweight. wait, scratch that cause that's not entirely true. i've never been extremely overweight.. just like i've never been extremely thin. my body is not built that way, and i don't care. i have no desire to be stick thin or super skinny or any of it. i've always been pretty normal, with an extra dab of thickness in my thighs and ass. sometimes i feel like someone played a cruel joke before i was born and put me together like a bunch of random mr. potato head parts (we'll give her a super thin waist.. a huge ghetto booty, and small boobs- voila!). the real battle with my weight only began once i had blake (ooh, big surprise). i suddenly found myself about 40 pounds heavier than normal and not liking it one bit. over time most of it has gradually come off. and lord knows it wasn't from excercise or breastfeeding (i stopped bf'ing once i went back to work- about 7 weeks after blake was born). currently, i'm not even 10 pounds heavier than normal, but still- those 10 pounds piss me off. i mean, i hate even complaining about 10 pounds when i know so many other people out there have far more to lose, but those 10 pounds make a difference on me, and in me. you might think, oh wow, 10 pounds- big deal. but those are my unwanted 10 pounds. not to mention the fact that they are dispersed in completely different places than they ever were before i had a kid. but those 10 pounds are like this HUGE war of the worlds battle to make go away. i feel like i have to literally starve myself to make a bit of difference. and i don't want to do that. i don't want to live like that. i want to eat the things i want to eat. i want to not workout if i don't want to workout dammit. i just want to live my life not worrying about how many carbs i ate that day, or if i had one to many mini twix's (ooh, mini twix). i realize that i either have to just mentally accept that this is what my body looks like now, or shut the fuck up about it and do something. but sometimes i think i'd just rather complain and still change nothing about how i eat, or what i do. i feel like i'll never accept that for some reason my ass wants to qualify to have its own zip code. but i also don't want to starve myself to make it smaller. i.like.eating. i like eating carbs. i like eating junk food. and that's the way it is. and i guess if that's how i want to live, then this is how i'll look. why can't i just accept that and just like what i see in the mirror and be fine with it??

why is weight such a fucking woman issue? you don't see guys bitching and whining about this stuff.

20 comments:

yea-me-tray said...

your ass and my lovehandles are living in the same region? hahaha-i love your entries...bribe him and he will clean, sexual favors work wonders. lol

jennster said...

lmfao- hi trayface!

russ said...

i've broken chairs due to my heft

Stephanie A. said...

every single day I have to hold myself back from posting about my weight struggles. it sucks major donkey dick. I'm freaking short with seriously, the biggest boobs ever. my legs are completely skinny, but it gets thicker as you go up.

after having Hugo I lost all of my pregnancy weight plus 8 pounds. hooray, right? uh, no. another problem with me breastfeeding is once I stopped I gained all of the weight back- IN MY STOMACH. so, it is a huge deal for me because right now I either have to wear elastic pants or wear pants that are two sizes larger, but too big in the bottom, hips and thighs.

Mr. Potato Head cruel joke indeed.

Becky said...

omg i can totally relate. im built the same way. small up top, big on bottom. i'm not totally overweight. i weigh like 15 lbs mroe than i did in HS and i'm trying right now to get back to that size. we'll see if i get there. i dont think i'm fat. and i dont wanna be stick thin either. i just wanna be a perfect 120 for me and be done with it. i took care of the boob thing cuz i was like you---big ass, big legs, no boobs and skinny waist. gee thanks god. its a cruel cruel joke. i'm at least a little bit more proportioned now but still---why does my ass require its own zipcode too???? WHY WHY WHY??? youve seen pics of it. you know its true. and i'm not TOTALLY dissatisfied with it. i just wish it was a bit smaller and toned instead of the jello that it is now.

jennster said...

steph- that so sucks that you gained the weight back once you stopped bf'ing. how frustrating!! and clothes. argh. so they fit where you're big and then are huge everywhere else. i have that problem too- if they fit my ass, they most assuredly are far too big in my waist. i hate complaining about 10 pounds cause there are so many other people who have far more to lose- but that 10 pounds affects me, you know?

MelissaM said...

I'm so there with you Jenn! Just recently I got to that point where instead of bitching about how unhappy I am about the way my clothes fit and well, my weight, I might as well do something about it so I started working out again. Day 6...woo-hoo! Plus, I went to the doctor's recently and almost punched the nurse when she told me my weight.

But what I'd really love to do is just eat all the yummy food I want while sitting on my couch watching TV and ignore the stationary bike and excerise ball I bought during one of my last "Ok, this is it!" fits. I miss the free snacks in SP.

jennster said...

becky- i think you and i are on the same page. we are definitely built similiarly. fo sho. *high fives the fellow ghetto bootie*

melis- we have free snacks here and guess who buys them? ME. so you're damn straight i'm getting things i like. ARGH! actually though, i'm not THAT bad with the snacking here at work. i don't know what it is. i just want to be able to have sweet stuff if i want it and not have it affect me the way it does. getting older sucks too. life is truly cruel to woman and our metabolism.

Becky said...

one more thing that i find to be sad but true. i was talking to matt about it and why girls are so obsessed---mostly cuz we know guys are attracted USUALLY to skinny and pretty girls. not like anorexic skinny but regular skinny. and matt said that MOST of the guys he knows and most guys in general are not attracted to "ugly" or "fat girls" and i got mad at first and then he said to think about it. you can find lots of pretty girls with ugly or fat guys cuz we can look past it and be with them for their personalities. and he said but you hardly ever see a good looking guy with an ugly or fat girl. it just rarely happens. and i said thats true sometimes. cuz guys are freakin pigs. and he had nothing to say to that cuz its true. why is it that girls can look past those things more than guys? i admitted that what attracts me at 1st of course is looks BUT i could totally be with a guy that isn't exactly attractive if his heart was awesome and he was cool.

Stephanie A. said...

everyone has a right to complain about their extra 5, 10 or 60 extra pounds, for sure.

I think my problem with MIM's post is that it really set everyone up to f-ing pick a side. And then, because some people are emotionally tied to the topic and many have never experienced anything else, the attacks started flying.

Virginia Belle said...

don't even get me started! i too have that 10-pounds-that-just-bug-me. actually, make that 20. my mom and i come to blows over it because she thinks i should be a stick and i disagree. (i need to post about this, now that i think about it...stay tuned for the full scoopage.)

the only small/skinny parts on my body are my fingers. ok, and my lower arms and calves. between elbows and knees, there is flesh-a-plenty. don't get me wrong-- i love my boobs. but the rest i could do without! (i have that flat-yet-wide white girl ass. you know what i'm talking about.)

and Repo is really self-conscious about his body, actually! he won't take off his shirt in front of me sometimes because he hates his gut! weird! it reminds me of how silly i sound when i get self-conscious about my body. because i really don't care what he looks like. i like my beefcake, you know! (it's too late! i'm hooked on his sweet lovin'!) it's kind of nice because i don't think he's looking at me thinking i need to lose weight--he can't really say anything with that mini-beer gut he has. (which i find pretty cuddly at this point...)we try to encourage each other to eat healthy and hit the gym. we aren't doing very well. but i'm just glad that he doesn't notice my cellulite. or so he says...

Melissa said...

Oh man, the debate continues. I agree with whoever said the thing about picking sides. I think that this discussion has two sides. And I myself have that extra 10 pound padding that I didn't have before i had kids. And I am convinced that remote lifting should remove calories. But truth is, I don't mind the 10 pounds, so I don't bother to do anything about it. But what gets me about the MIM thing is the name calling. That's where it is really obviously women. Even if men were to have this discussion, the name calling and hating wouldn't happen. And the other thing is, everyone is entilted to their opinion. I mean agree or disagree with the girl, but it is her blog and her right to post whatever she wants. Craziest thing to me is that this topic is now everywhere. It's spread like a freaking wild fire.

russ said...

i was made fun of horribly as a child because of my weight

jennster said...

i love what everyone is saying. russ, i want to hug you. lol

Yorksdevil said...

I just got weighed 2 days ago for the first time in years so I had no real idea how much I weighed but the actual amount was rather more than I liked to tell myself I weighed and now I wish I was still in the dark. Ignorance is bliss as they say. I can totally understand the blokes being self-conscious getting undressed as modern clothing styles mean men's actual bodies are better masked by clothes than women's. I know I look far better the more clothes I wear.
A friend of mine is very much into big women, but he's not what one would call good looking himself, most people that don't know him describe him as 'geeky' looking (but thin).

Jenn said...

I wasn't part of this whole debate, but I did just post something about this on my blog the other day...

http://maniacaldays.blogspot.com/2006/03/its-not-just-me.html

I've also never been overweight. I've been hovering around 125 since HS (wich isn't THAT skinny since I'm only like 5'1"). Without THAT much work
Then I had a baby.....
I'm not used to dieting....Although I did used to work out more...but with a baby I'm too DAMN tired!!!!
I wonder, is it possible to get back to 120 after a baby and once you turn 30....withOUT having to starve yourself?

Piece of Work said...

I had a some issues with MIMs post, mainly because what seems to be true for her--or the point that she makes--is not at all true in my own marriage. But that doesn't make her truth less valid. I actually have had more trouble with the defensive tone of her rebuttal comments and postings. I think it just aggravated the whole thing, and I wish she'd let it go. Or at least admit that other people have valid points.
I also wish the trolls would stay away! What good does it do to go to someone's blog and say insulting things to them. Very strange place, the internet!

Tressa said...

thanks for stopping by my blog! btw- ns = nutrisystem

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