Monday, February 06, 2006

on our way to spousal abuse- sweet!

i like to beat up boyfriend. you know, when he smacks my ass hard enough that it leaves a hand print, i like to punch him. hard. in the arm. so yesterday, he takes a swat at me that sends pain through my entire ass (for those who know me, that's a big area). up i went, with my ass numb & tingling, chasing him around the kitchen- trying to so hard to punch him in the arm, while he's running away from me laughing and blake is sneaking up behind me smacking my booty more and laughing (it is SO not fair when the 2 of them team up on me).. and then FINALLY! i get him! i turn to punch him with my left hand (cause it has miss sparkles on it, so it will hurt more HA!) and i pull back and go to wail him once super hard
and......
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..... he blocks it.

*looks down at bruised and swollen wrist*

this would never have happened if he would just let me hit him. take it like a man!
NOTE TO BOYFRIED:
WHEN I GO TO HIT YOU, LET ME.


the end.

5 comments:

Becky said...

lol this one cracked me up

texas math said...

This reminds me of a Family Guy episode where the whole family gets into one huge fight.

Thanks for the comments on my page and the link you gave me was pretty hilarious.

jennster said...

i just KNEW you'd like that link tony! KNEW IT! lol

Jimboliah said...

haha... ok fake left.. then right.. and out comes the DEADLEG!!! Muhhaha

Virginia Belle said...

this sounds like what Repo does to me when i'm hanging out with him. i told him once, "your hand and my ass have a love affair going on that i don't even know about." he smacks mine too--hard! thank god some men love big butts or i'd be muuuuch friendlier with my vibrator due to celibacy issues.

anyway, what i wanted to say was this: Repo's roommates like nothing better than to give him a hard time and so decided to use me as a tool to add to his general discomfort. they saw how annoyed i was with the ass-smacking, and saw their opportunity to teach me how to hit like a man. you have to step into it and follow through--kind of like when you are hitting a baseball. for extra oomph, let your middle finger knuckle stick up a little higher than the rest of the knuckles. aim for his upper arm.
repeat several times (he will pretend it doesn't hurt for the first 3 rounds.) then enjoy his misery.

*VB throws head back, laughs evily and rubs hands together vigorously.*