Friday, February 24, 2006

good times at costco

first of all, i must note that i'm writing this blog from johnnie & katie's house. you know, because it's probably the last time i'll be doing this...since they're MOVING and LEAVING US and all. you know, MOVING AWAY. not down the street, but down to southern california. you know, WHERE I JUST CAME FROM??? okay, i'm straying from my point.
good lord.
so there i am, minding my own business in line.. waiting to buy my 400 dollars worth of crap for work... when all of a sudden there is a giant ASS in my face. i'm not talking donkey here.. i'm talking about a HUMAN, MALE ASS. the freak in front of me in line has suddenly felt the need to stretch while waiting to check out. grab the ankles, ass in the air, hold it for counts of 1000, stretch. who the fuck does this?!?! i mean, seriously. it took all my self control to not boot him in the ass and watch him plummet to the ground while i laughed hysterically. oops, did i do that? well maybe you shouldn't STRETCH AND GRAB YOUR FUCKING ANKLES WHILE YOU'RE IN COSTCO YOU FREAKING DORK! i am surrounded by granola loving, excercise freaks. fuck excercise. and fuck granola. i hate em both.
all this ass stretching almost made me forget about the other thing i experienced in costco today. you know how a childs laughter is the sweetest sound in the whole world? well it's not if your laugh sounds like shit. this little girl would not stop laughing. and normally, this wouldn't bother me, cause kids laughing is really cute ..... but this girl had a laugh that made your skin crawl. it was so bad that i actually glared at her mom. i mean, you know if your kid has a shitty laugh or not.. make it stop!!! but noooo, she was just sitting there laughing along with her, thinking her kid was the cutest thing in the world. moms are in such denial sometimes. i think blake has the best laugh in the world, but that's because he does. and i'm not in denial. he can laugh circles around that dumb girl. ha!
okay, this blog has gotten too long and i blame johnny and katie for laughing at everything i type as i type it. katie just told johnnie she won't be his friend anymore because he's sitting too far away from her. i'm going to go save their marriage. super jenn- keeping love together, 1 relationship at a time.


Becky said...

you are a blogging genius. that post---pure genius. i cracked up so much. LOL @ laugh circles around that girl. omg. you are TOO much.

penguininthesun said...

this post made me laugh too... and I SO needed a laugh... just picturing that guy stretching. oh man, haha :)

jennster said...

LMFAO- it truly is johnny & katie's fault for laughing the whole entire time as i was typing it.
BUT BECKY- PENGUIN.. who the fuck starts stretching in line?!?!! i mean, WHO DOES THAT?!?! lol

Melissam said...

Watch Jenn, after a few more years there, you'll find yourself doing public stretching too. J/K

Absolutely hilarious post! Madison thought I was losing it when she walks into the living room to see me laughing with tears rolling down my face.

jennster said...

i heart that you read this melissa- it makes my heart happy! :)
tell madison i said HIIIII!

rockr girl said...

how did you not poke his ass with your index finger? really, i think i might have. and when he turned around, be all what? you shoved your ass in my face. am i not allowed to shove my finger in your ass??

people who excercise will die too. but they won't enjoy life as much as those of us who eat and drink too much!

jennster said...

lmfao rocker girl.. i am LAUGHING SO HARD at your fucking comment! HA

Becky said...

no one NORMAL does. haha

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