about getting engaged. no one ever says how simply TERRIFYING it is. i'm here to be that girl. it is SCARY! i mean, lose your breath, feeling like you're going to puke your guts out, "what the hell are you doing", scary! but no one ever tells you that part. at least, not the girls! they all gush and get giggly about how sweet it all is... how perfect and romantic.. know what i think? i think EVERY SINGLE girl who says that shit, KNEW it was coming! if you know he's going to ask, then it's probably not as scary. probably not as anything really. but for me, i had absolutely NO clue that he was going to get down on one knee *vomits* and pop the question. good lord, even thinking about it now makes me nauseous. i know, i'm SO romantic. lol but seriously!!!! seeing my 6'3 boyfriend down on 1 knee.. i mean, when normally i have to look UP to see him.. turning around, looking up, and then realizing that i have to look DOWN, because he is DOWN there.. on the ground.. on 1 knee.. holding SOMETHING in his big hands... i mean, it's NOT RIGHT! lol and leave it to me to drop the f bomb at a time like this. "this is not a fucking funny joke!!" it is horrifyingly (i like to make up words) nauseating. simply put. there is nothing quite as scary as having to look down at the man you normally have to look up to see. and as honestly romantic as it all was (cause it truly was swoon worthy)... i will never forget how i felt when i turned around to look up, and had to look down.
here is the sneaky bastard before
we got on the ferry to head back to the city so he could do the deed...you know, make me want to puke. and here i am- totally clueless, eating ice cream and wearing TENNIS SHOES (those of you who know me, know how rare this is!!) he didn't act weird or anything all day long- although his friends think he looks scared in this pic! and now that i look at it, i think he kind of does too! lol