Friday, January 13, 2006

25 signs you've grown up

25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP (thanks melissa for sending this to me)

  1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
  2. Having +sex in a twin bed is out of the question. (i'm sorry, but if i had too- i could dammit! i might bitch the whole time, but we'd get the job done!)
  3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. (this is definitely questionable.. granted there is more food, but beer is a for sure close second)
  4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. (so sad.. so true)
  5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator. (ewww! bullshit!)
  6. You watch the Weather Channel.
  7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
  8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. (only a loser who didn't have to work to pay to live ever had 130 days of vacation!! well, unless we're talking about when we were like 9 years old and stuff!)
  9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." (but i look cute in jeans and a sweater)
  10. You're the one calling the police because those #@$%&*) kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
  11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling -sex- jokes around you. (please make this never be true)
  12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. (HA! i don't think i ever knew what time taco bell closed. i thought it was open 24 hours for her ster-ness!)
  13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. (yeah, well. it's a fair trade.)
  14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers. (thanks for reminding me that i don't have a dog! *cries puppy wanting tears*)
  15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. (you obviously don't have my couch!)
  16. You take naps. (naps are the idea of true goddesses. naps RULE!)
  17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one. (this one is so true it's pissing me off. i feel jipped!)
  18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your
    stomach. (gross! who wants chicken wings at 3am??? pizza is the true after dancing meal!)
  19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests. (liar! i go for kids medicine)
  20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff." (bullshit! a $4 bottle of wine was never good stuff.. it was just cheap stuff)
  21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
  22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
  23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. (LOL! i have a message board, a website, and this blog.. you decide!)
  24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. (this is wrong, how??)
  25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh S-!- what the hell happened?"
  26. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and
    can't find one to save your sorry old butt. (wrong again, old man)

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